five - Brothers and sisters

Summary

Introduction

This chapter explores the way in which brothers and sisters grow up and grow old, together and apart. Specifically, it will address the way in which older siblings negotiate continuities, and manage the discontinuities brought about by ageing. The study of siblings in later life is a neglected area, particularly in the UK. A preoccupation with relationships of care and increasing interest in intergenerational support, solidarity and ambivalence has shifted the gerontological gaze from intra-generational ties. And yet, Bengtson's (2001: 6) notion of co-survivorship among generations (see also Chapters One and Three) could equally be applied to intra-generational relationships. Many of the current cohort of older people will as children have experienced the death of siblings early on in life from childhood diseases largely now eradicated, as well as the loss of siblings in adulthood as a result of war, accident or illness. They may not have expected to share a prolonged period of time in later life growing old either together or apart. Yet, for many older people this is exactly what has happened: the likelihood of having a surviving sibling in later life is high (Cicirelli, 1995).

Researching adult sibling relationships is not easy (Mauthner, 2002; Walker et al, 2005); such relationships are diverse, unregulated, complex, ever-changing and methodologically challenging. What, for example, constitutes a sibling: does this include ‘step’ and ‘half ‘ brothers and sisters? Add in ‘old age’ and the variables become even greater: each sibling relationship in later life will have its own history and will be enmeshed in the lifecourse of an individual, a family, a cohort and the societal context in which each of these occurs. The little research that there is on older siblings suggests that being a brother or sister becomes increasingly important for many older people as they age, with talk about siblings featuring in older people's stories as a valuable component of later life (Gold, 1987; Connidis, 2001; Chambers, 2005). Indeed, Gold (1987: 207) goes so far as to say: ‘… that the sibling relationship makes a unique and significant contribution to the lives of many older people is a significant conclusion drawn by … older people themselves and one that family researchers might well heed’.