Letter LIV

Summary

From a Mother to her Daughter, jealous of her Husband.

Dear Bet,

I am sorry to find you are grown jealous of your Husband. ‘Tis a most uneasy Passion, and will be fatal, not only to your present Quiet, but to your future Happiness, and probably to that of your Family, if you indulge it.

You either have, or have not Cause for it. If you have Cause, look into yourself and your own Conduct, to see if you have not by any Change of Temper, or Disagreeableness of Behaviour, alienated your Husband's Affections; and if so, set about amending both, in order to recover them: for once he loved you, and you was satisfy’d he did, above all your Sex, or you would not have had him. If it be owing to his inconstant Temper, that is indeed unhappy; but then, so long as you are clear of Blame, you have nothing to reproach yourself with: And as the Creatures wicked Men follow, omit nothing to oblige them, you must try to avoid such uneasy and disturbing Resentments, as will make youmore and more distasteful to him. Shew him, that no guilty Wretch's pretended Love can be equal to your real one: Shew him, that such Creatures shall not out-do you in an obliging Behaviour, and Sweetness of Temper; and that, let him fly off from his Duty, if he will, you will persevere in yours. This Conduct will, if not immediately, in time, flash Conviction in his Face: He will see what a Goodness he injures, and will be softened by your Softness. But if you make his Home uneasy to him, he will fly both that and you: And to whom will he fly, but, most probably, to one who will allow his Pleas, and aggravate every thing against you; who will side with him, inflame his Passions, and thereby secure him to herself? And would you contribute to such a Wretch's Power over him, and furnish Opportunities for her to triumph over you? For while you exasperate his Passions, and harden his Mind against you, she will, by wicked Blandishments, shew him how obliging she can be, and so a Course of Life, that he would follow privately, and by stealth, as it were, he will more openly pursue;