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10 - The War of the Roses: An Interdependence Analysis of Betrayal and Forgiveness

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  25 July 2009

By
Caryl E. Rusbult ,
Madoka Kumashiro ,
Eli J. Finkel  and
Tim Wildschut
Edited by
Patricia Noller  and
Judith A. Feeney
Caryl E. Rusbult
Affiliation:
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Madoka Kumashiro
Affiliation:
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Eli J. Finkel
Affiliation:
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Tim Wildschut
Affiliation:
University of Southhampton
Patricia Noller
Affiliation:
University of Queensland
Judith A. Feeney
Affiliation:
University of Queensland
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Summary

Barbara and Oliver Rose – I think you should hear their story … I won't start the clock yet. My fee is $450 an hour. When a man who makes $450 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you should listen.

–Gavin D'Amata, The War of the Roses

Gavin D'Amata is a divorce lawyer. With the preceding words to a prospective client, Gavin begins to recount The War of the Roses, a (sometimes hilarious) marital cautionary tale. The unfolding narrative reveals the troubled marriage of Barbara and Oliver Rose: Oliver belittles Barbara's career; Barbara neglects Oliver during a frightening health crisis; each humiliates the other, delivering impossible-to-forget attacks on the other's tastes and habits. During their marital Armageddon, Barbara and Oliver become entangled in a chandelier suspended above a hallway. The mechanism supporting the chandelier gives way, and – embraced in the arms of the chandelier – the two crash to the unyielding terazzo floor 30 feet below. With his dying breath, Oliver reaches out to touch Barbara's shoulder, offering amends and seeking forgiveness. Barbara's hand slowly rises to meet Oliver's … (perhaps, one imagines, to reciprocate Oliver's act) … and with her dying breath, Barbara flings Oliver's hand away from her.

Why is the Rose marriage interesting, from a scientific point of view? The Roses are interesting because their marital woes do not stem from the sorts of faulty communication patterns traditionally emphasized in marital research – patterns involving negative reciprocity, demand-withdraw, or coercive interaction (cf. Gottman, Coan, Carrere, & Swanson, 1998).

Type
Chapter
Information
Understanding Marriage
Developments in the Study of Couple Interaction
 , pp. 251 - 282
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2002

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