5 - Happiness in Stable Marriages: The Early Years

Summary

With so many marriages ending in divorce, researchers studying marriage have focused their attention on factors that contribute to marital stability or breakup. Some of these factors have been structural (Kitson, 1992; Teachman & Polonko, 1990), some have been psychological (Gottman & Levenson, 1988), and some interpersonal (Gottman & Krokoff, 1989; Levinger, 1965). Hatchett, Veroff, and Douvan (1996) have dealt with all these levels of analysis simultaneously. But whether such factors are indeed responsible for especially happy marriages is yet another question. Cuber and Harroff (1965) long ago made an important distinction among types of marriages in which husbands and wives may have no question about maintaining loyalties to their spouses and the future of their bonds: Some reflected vital satisfying interdependent relationships while others did not. Among those committed to each other but less satisfied were couples who maintained highly independent life spheres in which husbands and wives had little to do with each other as well as couples whose daily interactive lives were devoid of any vital core of gratifying experience.

What accounts for satisfying marriages among those couples who are unquestionably committed to each other? That is the topic of the current chapter. Having a satisfying marriage is more than just remaining married to someone; it is more than just living by commitments to stay together until “death do us part.”