12 - Narratives of long-term loneliness: case study of two older men

Summary

Introduction

Loneliness has been widely considered a major problem for older people and ageing societies. At the same time, it has become a popular topic for gerontological research across disciplines. However, research examining loneliness from life course or life historical perspectives have been scarce. Little is known of older men’s lived experiences related to long-term loneliness and the life pathways and events preceding them. By examining the cases of two older men, this chapter aims at providing new perspectives to not only later life loneliness but also to the complex social bonds of older men.

While definitions and theories on loneliness vary, loneliness is widely understood as a subjective and emotional experience referring to absence of meaningful social relations or unfulfilled desires towards existing ones (see, for example, Victor et al, 2009; Tiilikainen and Seppänen, 2017; Jansson, 2020; Morgan and Burholt, 2020). At its simplest, loneliness can be described as an emotional state portraying an individual’s perceived belongingness to others. In addition – or despite of – its subjective nature, loneliness is strongly shaped by the surrounding social world, as well as the lives of others. Importantly, many loneliness theories have aimed at describing the complexity and multidimensionality of loneliness (for example, Perlman and Peplau, 1998). Although many people experience loneliness as a relatively similar, unpleasant and even painful experience, its meanings, causes and consequences are highly diverse (for example, Victor et al, 2009; Tiilikainen, 2019).

An often-used conceptualisation of loneliness is the distinction between emotional and social loneliness, which was first introduced by psychologist Robert Weiss (1973) in his qualitative case studies. According to Weiss, emotional loneliness is caused by the loss or absence of a close attachment, such as a partner, parent or child. Social loneliness, in turn, is connected to the lack of social contacts and social interaction and therefore experienced within broader networks. Weiss describes emotional loneliness as an experience that is similar to the sadness and distress of a young child who has been abandoned by his parents, while social loneliness includes feelings of boredom and exclusion, emotions that a child may experience when friends are gone.