Epilogue

Summary

I end this book by returning to the beginning. Throughout my fieldwork, I thought of Rahima often and reflected on her haunting description of ‘floating through life’. How is she doing now? Did she still feel like she was floating? What did she really mean by ‘we will only keep floating until the day we die’? I wanted so terribly to ask her these questions the next time we planned to meet. But I never got the chance. Less than three weeks after our first meeting on that hot summer evening in August 2017, Rahima passed away. Nobody was able to tell for sure how or what the reason was. Some say it was due to a sudden fever and diarrhoea; others say it was because of unbearable grief after learning that her husband was murdered by the Myanmar army while in jail.

There is death in the Rohingya refugee camps – a lot of it. I intentionally did not dwell on death in this book as I wanted to focus on life – life that is messy and difficult and filled with immense pain, though nonetheless hopeful and resilient despite all odds. But as hard as she tried to remain hopeful for her children, it was not enough for Rahima. I pray that she has finally reached the shores.