5 - Beyond Brides: On Marriage and Moral Panics

Summary

Karima's Wedding

Preparations for Karima's wedding to Hossain were under way. It was Thursday afternoon in April 2018 and the narrow alleyway in this part of the Balukhali camp – 2 miles away from the entrance of the camp – was teeming with life and excitement. The wedding was only a few hours away, baad ‘Asr (after the late afternoon prayer). Eighteen-year-old Karima was in her shelter with her future sister-in-law, niece, and other relatives who had gathered to watch the bride prepare for her big day. Strings of artificial orange and pink flowers hung all around the room. Karima's hands had decorative floral patterns inked in mehndi (henna) the night before, and she sat patiently as her sister-in-law applied makeup and lipstick. A strikingly red scarf was adorned on her head and also covered some of her face. As I headed outside to see what the men were up to during this time, I noticed two young girls peeking their heads and giggling through the door of Karima's shelter. I stopped to chat with them and inquired what they thought of the wedding taking place. ‘Did you know they met in the camp?! How lucky she is!’, one of the girls exclaimed, covering her mouth as she giggled. Karima's male relative, who was walking by, shouted at the girls upon hearing them: ‘Hey! Speak quietly about these things!’. The girls hid their faces with their scarves and quickly darted off.

Outside the shelter, the men of Karima's family and community gathered around the huzur (local religious leader), who sat with Karima's father and uncles to negotiate the mahr (Islamic gift to the bride from the groom) and dowry (from the bride to the groom). The majhee was also present to ensure that everything was running smoothly. After a few minutes of back-and-forth between the male relatives of the bride and groom, the atmosphere started getting tense. The discussion became increasingly dotted with minor shouting outbursts as both sides made demands about the marriage. At one point, Karima's father shouted: ‘Nothing has happened with her and Hossain! My daughter is pure and no zulm has ever happened to her.