She
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 12 January 2023
Summary
At last, she was allowed! She was allowed to study! She was allowed to be free—that is, not unconditionally, but a little. They granted her an entire semester. Wasn’t that a lot? Wasn’t that gracious? There she could develop her great talent—because she had a talent for writing—and also publish something. Mainly publish something, her husband wished, so that more money could be brought into the household. Mostly develop her talent in order to gain fame, fancied her mother, aunt and cousins.
That was how they decided for her. While the husband had to go to Australia on business, she was allowed to attend the university for a semester. No one asked her anything further; didn’t they know that she wanted to study? So, they also granted her this joy!
She was a languishing little bird that was longing for freedom. First, she had married a man she did not love in order to shake off the burden of her tutors and guardians—this proved to be a miscalculation since now her husband would rule over her in addition to the others, who loved her so much, and did not ease off. They all raised her, and sometimes she wept while thinking they would raise her to her grave. And all she wanted, quite innocently, was a little freedom and to be able to study. She couldn’t help that she was different from the others!
The opportunity and permission finally came! To study, yes! Everyone was so very educational in her family. Everything had to be achieved through a sense of duty, obedience, and goodwill. So, she was told: “We, who are so insightful, kind, and always indulging in your whims, have decided to allow you to become clever, we allow you to become famous and we give you six months to do so. So, hurry up so that you can show that you are not a stupid woman who can never work seriously, but just messes around. Work properly, achieve something original.” They then gave her a ticket and sent her to the famous university town.
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- Elsa Asenijeff’s Is that love? and InnocenceA Voice Reclaimed, pp. 19 - 22Publisher: Boydell & BrewerPrint publication year: 2022