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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 26 May 2022
One of the young couples that exemplified the “perfect match” marriage in Qing history, Sun Xingyan 孫星衍 and Wang Caiwei 王采薇 left behind personal records that give us a glimpse into the intimate world they created, from intellectually stimulating post-marriage courtship, to mourning and pledge of fidelity when Wang Caiwei died. Analyzing this record in the contexts of the Qing literati glorification of “perfect match” marriage and the couple's familial and social lives, this article pieces together a personal story about youthful passion and love and considers questions about the shapes of emotion and marital companionship and the ways the young couple navigated emotional and social complexities in their pursuit of an ideal companionship.
I'd like to thank the reviewers for the Journal of Chinese History for their useful comments and suggestions.
1 A growing body of scholarship has contributed to this understanding. Dorothy Ko's 1994 study of the seventeenth-century women's culture in Jiangnan, for example, provides the first in-depth look into the “companionate marriage” between intellectually compatible couples. Ko, Teachers of the Inner Chambers: Women and Culture in Seventeenth-Century China (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1994). More recently, using the elegiac biographies men wrote of their late wives, Martin Huang has explored the intimate voices of bereaved husbands as well as the male construction of womanhood and male self-representation. Huang, Intimate Memory: Gender and Mourning in Late Imperial China (Albany: State University of New York Press, 2018). In Arranged Companions, I examine the origins of the idea of marital companionship in Chinese history and shows how it became widely embraced by the educated during the early and High Qing. See Weijing Lu, Arranged Companions: Marriage and Intimacy in Qing China (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2021). Other studies have explored various aspects of marital relationships in the late imperial period. See, for example, Theiss, Janet, “Love in a Confucian Climate: The Perils of Intimacy in Eighteenth-Century China,” Nan Nü: Men, Women and Gender in China 11.2 (2009), 197–233CrossRefGoogle Scholar; Xiaorong Li, “Singing in Dis/Harmony in Times of Chaos: Xu Can's Poetic Exchange with Her Husband Chen Zhilin during the Ming-Qing Transition,” Jindai Zhongguo funüshi yanjiu, no. 19 (2011), 215–54; Xu, Sufeng, “Domesticating Romantic Love during the High Qing Classical Revival: The Poetic Exchanges between Wang Zhaoyuan (1763–1851) and Her Husband Hao Yixing (1757–1829),” Nan Nü: Men, Women and Gender in China 15.2 (2013), 219–64CrossRefGoogle Scholar; Barr, Allan H., “Marriage and Mourning in Early-Qing Tributes of Wives,” Nan Nü: Men, Women and Gender in China 15.1 (2013), 137–78CrossRefGoogle Scholar; Weijing Lu, “Writing Love: The Heming Ji by Wang Zhaoyuan and Hao Yixing,” in Gender and Chinese History: Transformative Encounters, edited by Beverly Bossler (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2015), 83–109.
2 Huang, Intimate Memories, 28–36, Lu, Arranged Companions, chapter 2.
3 The “perfect match” marriage model aside, relationships thrived on performing more conventional roles in fulfilling household responsibilities as well. See Barr, “Marriage and Mourning,” 138, and Lu, Arranged Companions, 74, and chapter 6.
4 Scholars have termed this type of marriage “companionate marriage,” a concept adopted from Western scholarship in which it was defined by such qualities at “affection, equality, and mutuality” and romantic love was regarded as the “necessary condition for marriage.” Despite some shared features, the Chinese notion of “jia ou” differed from companionate marriage in important ways. For example, the husband and wife relationship in China was hierarchal rather than equal and romantic love was not a “necessary foundation for marriage.” See Lu, Arranged Companions, 12–13. It must be noted that this type of marriage was not universally practiced. Marital companionship was nurtured and exhibited in different ways even among the well-educated. See Barr, “Marriage and Mourning”; Lu, Arranged Companions, 74.
5 See Xu, “Domesticating Romantic Love,” and Lu, “Writing Love”; for the marriages of Wang/Jin, Sun/Xi, and Wang/Cao, see Lu, Arranged Companions.
6 Jiang Qingbo's study of the prominent families in Southern Jiangsu, of which Changzhou was a center, provides a detailed account of the region's cultural achievement, including producing many of the Qing's best known female poets, and the unique socio-economic conditions that propelled this success. Jiang Qingbo 江庆柏, Ming Qing Su'nan wangzu wenhua yanjiu 明清苏南望族文化研究 (Nanjing: Nanjing shifan daxue, 1999). The generations of women from the Zhang family, chronicled by Susan Mann, offer an example of the talent this locality nurtured. See Susan Mann, The Talented women of the Zhang Family (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2007).
7 Wang Guangxie, “Wang nü Wang Caiwei xiaozhuan.” Changlige ji (hereafter CLGJ), 379. In Jiangnan nüxing bieji 江南女性別集, compiled by Hu Xiaoming 胡曉明 and Peng Guozhong 彭國忠 (Hefei: Huangshan Shushe, 20140), vol. 4, shang.
8 Zhang Shaonan, 张紹南, Sun Yuanru xiansheng nianpu (Beijing tushuguan zhenben nianpu congkan), 119: 448. Wang's father dated the engagement at eight years of age for Wang.
9 See Lu, Weijing, “Uxorilocal Marriage among Qing Literati,” Late Imperial China 19.2 (1998), 64–110CrossRefGoogle Scholar. Changzhou in particular was a popular region for uxorilocal marriage. See Susan Mann, Talented Women of the Zhang Family.
10 Poetry was a standard component of the civil examinations in the Tang and Song periods, but it was removed from the exams from the early Ming onward. Emperor Qianlong restored a poetry question in 1756 to “make examinations more difficult for the increasing numbers of classically literate candidates.” Benjamin A. Elman, Civil Examinations and Meritocracy in Late Imperial China (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2013), 8. Even with this policy change, poetry was not key to examinations success, and as Elman points out, “examination policy never hindered the popularity of poetry and literary flair among literati groups, which demonstrates the cultural limits of the classical curriculum in influencing intellectual life.” Ibid. 3.
11 In his anthology, Kong Guangsen's preface was titled “Guxiu Wang Weiyu Yuzhen ji xu.” This suggests that Changlige li or Weige ou cun was initially also called Yuzhen ji 玉珍集. Yuzhen was Caiwei's courtesy name. Kong, Piantiwen (xixiu siku quanshu edition), 1476: 382.
12 According to Gong Qing, a son-in-law of Sun's brother and the compiler of couple's collected works, Changlige ji first appeared in Bi Yuan compiled Wuhui ying cai ji, which was published in the 1780s. Gong Qing, “Postscript.” CLGJ, 377.
13 Gong Qing, “Postscript.” CLGJ, 377. Gong's postscript recorded some of Caiwei's fragmentary stanzas.
14 Bi, Wuhui yingcai ji (Qingdai zhuanji congkan edition), 159: 28.
15 Fa Shishan, Wumen shihua (Xuxui siku quanshu edition), 1705: 124.
16 Yuan Mei, “Sun Weiying qi Wang ruren muzhiming.” CLGJ, 383.
17 Hong Liangji, Beijing shihua (Xuxiu siku quanshu edition), 1705: 4. Hong suspected that Sun might have helped edit Caiwei's work; he nonetheless admitted that when it comes to her distinct “dark, mysterious and dreamy” flavor, even Sun wouldn't be able to come up with it. Ibid., 1705: 13.
18 Ouyang Zhesheng 歐陽哲生, comp., Hu Shi wencun (Beijing: Beijing Daxue, 1998), 590.
19 Wang Chang, Huhai shizhuan 湖海诗传 (Xuxiu siku quanshu edition), 1626: 343. Wang mistakenly stated that Bi's complete list included ten poets. The actual number of the poets included was twelve.
20 For “Piling qizi,” see Qingshi gao 清史稿 (Beijing: Zhonghua shuju, 1977), 13391. In Beijing shihua, Hong Liangji noted that Sun's “poetic talent was ranked the first among his peers when he was young.” Hong Liangji, Beijiang shihua, 1705: 5.
21 Shi Yunyu, “Fangmao shanren shilu xu” 芳茂山人诗录序, in Sun Yuanru xiansheng quanji (hereafter SYXQ, Qingdai shiwenji huibian edition), 436: 267; 射燕楼诗话，juan 20.
22 See Sun Xingyan, “Suiyuan suibi xu” 隨園隨筆序, SYXQ, 436: 234.
23 Yuan Mei, “Sun Weiying qi Wang ruren muzhiming.” CLGJ, 383–84.
24 For the exchange of letters between the two on this matter, see SYXQ, 436: 117–18.
25 Lu, Arranged Companions, 21, 66–67; 170.
26 Sun Xingyan, “Gao zeng furen wangqi Wangshi shizhuan” 誥贈夫人亡妻王氏事狀, CLGJ, 382.
27 Sun Xingyan, “Gao zeng furen wangqi Wangshi shizhuan,” 381.
28 SYXQ, 283.
29 Sun indicates that he became interested in idea of immortality in his youth. See “Ti ‘Caizhitu’” 題采芝圖, SYXQ, 436: 349.
30 Sun Xingyan, “Chou ye” 愁夜,“Ji nei” 寄内, SYXQ, 436: 287, 354.
31 Fa Shishan 法式善 characterized Caiwei’s poetry style as having merged those of Le He’s and Weng Tingyun's. Wumen shihua 梧門詩話 (Xuxiu siku quanshu edition), 1705: 124; also see Wang Qishu 王啓淑, Shuicao qing xia ju 水曹清暇錄 (Beijing: Beijing guji, 1998), 78. Both Yuan Mei and Hong Liangji compared Sun Xingyan's poetry to that of Han Yu. Hong Liangji, Beijiang shihua, 31; Yuan Mei, “Sun Weiying qi Wang ruren muzhimin,” CLGJ, 383.
32 CLGJ, 381.
33 Han Shu (Beijing: zhonghua shuju), 3238–39.
34 Yuan Mei, “Sun Weiying qi Wang ruren muzhiming.” CLGJ, 383. Also See Zhao Huaiyu 赵懷玉, “Sun Jichou qi Wangshi kuangming” 孫季仇妻王氏壙銘 CLGJ, 385; Sun, “Shan xi chou shi” 山夕酬詩, SYXQ, 436: 330.
35 Sun, “Ti guiren zhen” 題閨人真, SYXQ, 436: 314.
36 Hong Liangji, “Lü Guangwen Xingyuan wenchao xu” 呂廣文星垣文鈔序, in Hong Liangji ji (Beijing: Zhonghua shuju, 2001), 977–78.
37 Wang Guangxie, “Wang nű Wang Caiwei xiaozhuan.” CLGJ, 379.
38 Sun Xingyan, “Xu taigongren jiushi shengchen shilue” 許太恭人九十生辰事畧, SYXQ, 173.
39 CLGJ, 381.
40 Sun Yuanru xiansheng nianpu 119: 452–3.
41 Hong Liangji, “Chi Sunda bu zhi” 遲孫大不至, in Hong Liangji ji, 2059.
42 Wang Guangxie, “Wang nu Wang Caiwei xiaozhuan.” CLGJ, 379.
43 See discussions in Lu, Arranged Companions, 102.
44 Wang Caiei, “Eryue shiqiri jian Weiying” 二月十七日柬薇隱, CLGJ, 372.
45 Wang Caiwei, “Binwo de Jiqiu shi” 病卧得季逑詩, CLGJ, 367.
46 Wang Caiwei, “Ji Jiqiu, shi ke Hezhou” 寄季逑, 時客和州, CLGJ, 370.
47 Wang Caiwei, “Da Weiyin fu ci qian yun” 答微隐复次前韵, CLGJ, 370.
48 Ge Hong 葛洪, Xijing zaji 西京雜記 (Xi'an: Sanqin, 2006), 156.
49 Lu, Arranged Companions, 36–41.
50 Sun, Jiuyue shisiri po zhou jingjiang dao zhong xie fu bu yue zuo” 九月十四日泊舟京江道中偕婦步月作, SYXQ, 287.
51 The circumstance of this event was unclear, but the poem's title, “On the fourth of the ninth month, having stopped the boat on the Yangzi River near Zhenjiang, I walked under the moon with my wife,” suggest this was far from Changzhou or Jurong. A long trip away from home like this was rare for a woman of her background, but it makes perfect sense if it was a visit between the two families. The Yangzi River was a common route for travel between the two places.
52 Wang Caiwei, “Jiuyue shisiri zhou you Dantu, ye ban yu Weiying cheng yue deng an xing sanli zuo” 九月十四日舟由丹徒夜半與薇隱乘月登岸行三里作, CLGJ, 369.
53 Wang Caiwei, “Fu yu Jiqiu ye qi shi yue tong zuo” 復與季逑夜起視月同作, CLGJ, 360.
54 Susan Mann, Precious Records: Women in China's Long Eighteenth Century (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1997), 49.
55 Sun, “Fu yu Wang Caiwei kan yue” 復與王采薇看月, SYXQ, 295.
56 Huang Jingren 黃景仁, Liangdanxuan quanji 兩當軒全集 (Xuxiu siku quanshi edition), 1474: 411.
57 Grace S. Fong, “Writing and Illness: A Feminine Condition in Women's Poetry of the Ming and Qing,” in The Inner Quarters and Beyond: Women Writers from Ming through Qing, edited by Grace S. Fong and Ellen Widmer (Leiden: Brill Academic Pub, 2010), 19–47.
58 Xu Zhene 徐震崿, Shishuo xinyu jiao jian 世說新語校箋 (Beijing: Zhonghua Shuju, 2001), 489–90.
59 Zhao Huaiyu, “Sun Jichou qi Wangshi kuangming,” CLGJ, 385.
60 Sun Xingyan, “Shou ye” 愁夜, SYXQ, 436: 343.
61 Hong Liangji, “De Sunda shu” 得孫大書, Hong Liangji ji, 2064, Caiwe's illness was frequently mentioned in Hong Liangji's poems. See, for example, Hong Liangji, “Taizhou shiyuan zashi ji Sunda” 台州使院雜詩寄孫大, “Dong yue ji Sunda” 冬月寄孫大, Hong Liangji ji, 2078, 2082.
62 For example, several months before Caiwei's death, Sun and Hong Liangji rented a boat and went on an overnight party floating on a creek with three other friends, including Wang Caiwei's brother, to the surprised gaze of the locals. Hong Liangji had such a great time that he called it the last happiest event of his youth. Hong Liangji, “Bayue shiwuri fan zhou Baiyunxi shixu” 八月十五泛舟白雲谿詩序, Hong Liangji ji, 296.
63 See Sun Xingyan's “shizhuan” and Zhao Huaiyu's “Sun Jichou qi Wangshi kuangming.” CLGJ, 382, 385.
64 Sun Xingyan, “Gao zeng furen wang qi Wangshi shizhuan,” CLGJ, 382.
65 CLGJ, 379, 383.
66 Hong Liangji, “Changlige yixiang zan”長儷閣遺象贊, Hong Liangji ji, 318.
67 Sun Xingyan, “Que ti” 闕題, SYXQ, 436: 343.
68 Sun, “Yangzhou ji Fanglitang zhai zhong, tong Wang Jiantan, Jin wanfang zhu jun zuo” 揚州集方立堂齋中同汪劒潭金畹芳諸君作, SYXQ, 295.
69 Xu Zhene, Shishuo xinyu, 489–90.
70 Xu Ling 徐陵, Yutai xinyong jianzhu 玉臺新詠箋註, annotated by Wu Zhaoyi 吳兆宜 et al. (Beijing: Zhonghua Shuju, 1985), 30.
71 Wang Caiwei, “De Weiying cong Jinling ji yi shu” 得薇隱從金陵寄一書, CLGJ, 372.
72 Sun Yuanru xiansheng nianpu, 119: 455.
73 Hong Liangji, “Du he ji Sunda Xingyan” 渡河寄孫大星衍, Hong Liangji ji, 466.
74 Confucian classics stipulate that a son mourned the death of a mother for one year, but if his father had already died when his mother died, then he would mourn her for “three years.” This rule was abandoned under the Ming founding emperor, who thought it treated mothers unfairly, and for the rest of the Ming and Qing dynasties, mourning a mother for “three years” as one would a father was the standard practice.
75 See discussions in Martin Huang, Intimate Memory, and Lu, Arranged Companions, 49–59.
76 For example, see Wu Xiqi 吳錫麒, Youzhengweizhai piantiwen 有正味齋駢體文續集 (Xuxiu siku quanshu edition), 1469: 139.
77 Hong Liangji, “Changlige yixiang zan”長儷閣遺象贊, Hong Liangji ji, 318.
78 In his study of male fidelity in Chinese history, Bret Hinsch documents the long tradition of marital love and male marital devotion. Hinsch, “The Emotional Underpinnings of Male Fidelity in Imperial China,” Journal of Family History 32.4 (2007), 392–412. Actual cases in which a man refused to (re)marry another wife, however, appear to be few.
79 Yi Jolan 衣若蘭, “Shi bu geng qu—Mingdai nanzi shouzhen chutan” 誓不更娶—明代男子守貞初探, Zhongguo shixue (September 2005), 68–69.
80 Pan Chengzhang 潘檉章, Shongling wenxian 松陵文獻, 7/76. For an additional case, see ibid., 7/78.
81 See Weijing Lu, True to Her Word: The Faithful Maiden Cult in Late Imperial China (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 2008), 164–66.
82 Na Xiaoling 那晓凌, “Ming Qing shiqi de ‘yifu’ jingbiao” 明清時期的義夫旌表, Beijing Daxue yanjiusheng xue zhi 2 (2007), 51–65. The number of awardees, however, was very small.
83 Shi Yunyu, “Fangmao shanren shilu xu” 芳茂山人诗錄序, SYXQ, 436: 267; see also Wu Xiqi 吳錫麒, Youzhengweizhai piantiwen, 1469: 139.
84 Hong Liangji, Beijiang shihua (Xuxiu siku edition), 1705: 31.
85 See Cuncun Wu, Homoerotic Sensibilities in Late Imperial China (London: RoutledgeCurzon, 2004).
86 SYXQ, 436: 330.
87 For discussion on the relationship between arranged marriage and marital relationships, see Weijing Lu, Arranged Companions, 80–82.
88 Du Dajun, “Qixi yong xianjitu,” in Wengshan shiwai (Xuxiu siku quanshu edition), 589.