Hostname: page-component-78c5997874-s2hrs Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-11-12T21:28:54.141Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false
  • English
  • Français

Moving from Ambivalence to Certainty: Older Same-Sex Couples Marry in Canada*

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  23 May 2013

Áine M. Humble
Áine M. Humble*
Affiliation:
Mount Saint Vincent University
*
†Correspondence and requests for offprints should be sent to / La correspondance et les demandes de tirés-à-part doivent être adressées à: Áine M. Humble, Ph.D. Department of Family Studies and Gerontology Mount Saint Vincent University 166 Bedford Highway Halifax, NS B3M 2J6 ([email protected])
Get access Rights & Permissions [Opens in a new window]

Abstract

A qualitative study, within a life course perspective, explored the transition into marriage for mid- to later-life same-sex couples. Twenty individuals (representing 11 couples) were interviewed – 12 lesbians, seven gay men, and one bisexual man. At the time of their marriages, participants were between 42 and 72 years old (average age: 54) and had been with their partners from six months to 19 years (average: 7.5 years). Three processes highlighted the ways in which these same-sex couples’ experiences of deciding to marry were influenced by their life course experiences. First, individuals had to integrate marriage into their psyches (integration). Second, they had to consider why they would marry their specific partner (rationale). Third, the study participants demonstrated how their experiences of wedding planning and their wedding characteristics were imbued with intentionality as a result of lifetime experiences of homophobia and/or heterosexism (intentionality).

Résumé

Une étude qualitative, dans la perspective du parcours de vie, a exploré la transition vers le mariage pour les couples de même sexe au milieu ou plus tard dans la vie. Vingt personnes (soit 11 couples) ont été intérrogées – 12 lesbiennes, sept hommes gais, et une homme bisexuel. Au moment de leurs mariages, les participants avaient de 42 à 72 ans (âge moyen: 54), et avaient vécu avec leurs partenaires entre six mois à 19 ans (moyen: 7,5 ans). Trois thèmes soulignent la manière dont les expériences de ces couples de même sexe, en décidant de se marier, ont été influencés par les expériences dans leurs parcours de vie. Premièrement, l’intégration: les individus ont dû integrer le mariage dans leur psychisme. Deuxièmement, la justification: ils ont dû demander pourquoi ils se marient avec leurs partenaires spécifiques. Le troisième thème était la déliberation: les participants à l’étude ont demontré comment leurs expériences de planification de mariage et les caractéristiques de leurs noces etaient impregnées à la suite de leurs expériences conscientes de vie en ce qui concerne l’homophobie et/ou l’hétérosexisme.

Keywords

vieillissmentparcours de viecouples plus âgésmariage entre personnes du même sexemariages (noces)aginglife courseolder couplesqualitativesame-sex marriageweddings
Type
Articles
Information
Canadian Journal on Aging / La Revue canadienne du vieillissement , Volume 32 , Issue 2 , June 2013 , pp. 131 - 144
Copyright
Copyright © Canadian Association on Gerontology 2013 

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

Footnotes

*

This study was funded by an internal standard research grant from Mount Saint Vincent University.

References

Alderson, K.G. (2004). A phenomenological investigation of same-sex marriage. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 13, 107–122.Google Scholar
Ambert, A.M. (2005). Same-sex couples and same-sex parent families: Relationships, parenting, and issues of marriage. Retrieved September 15, 2012, from Vanier Institute of the Family’s website: http://www.vanierinstitute.ca/modules/news/newsitem.php?ItemId=252#.UXlDeUrlpSk.Google Scholar
Angus, Reid. (2012). Australians support same-sex marriage more than Americans and Britons. Retrieved July 27, 2012, fromhttp://www.angus-reid.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2012.03.12_SameSex.pdf.Google Scholar
Badgett, M.V.L. (2009). When gay people get married: What happens when societies legalize same-sex marriage. New York: New York University Press.Google Scholar
Banks, C. (2003). The co$t of homophobia: Literature review on the human impact of homophobia on Canada. Saskatoon, SK: Community-University Institute for Social Research. Retrieved August 3, 2012, fromhttp://www.usask.ca/cuisr/sites/default/files/BanksEconImpact.pdf.Google Scholar
Bengston, V.L., & Allen, K.R. (1993). The life course perspective applied to families over time. In Boss, P.G., Doherty, W.J., LaRossa, R., Schumm, W.R., & Steinmetz, S.K. (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theories and methods: A contextual approach (pp. 469–499). New York: Plenum Press.Google Scholar
Bevacqua, M. (2004). Feminist theory and the question of lesbian and gay marriage. Feminism & Psychology, 14, 36–40. doi: 10.1177/0959353504040300.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Bibby, R.W. (2004). The future families project: A survey of Canadian hopes and dreams. Ottawa: Vanier Institute of the Family.Google Scholar
Biblarz, T.J., & Savci, E. (2010). Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72, 480–497. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00714.x.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Cohler, B.J. (2005). Life course social science perspectives on the GLBT family. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 1, 69–95. doi: 10.1300/J461v01n01_06.Google Scholar
Connidis, I.A. (2003). Bringing outsiders in: Gay and lesbian family ties over the life course. In Arber, S., Davidson, K., & Ginn, J. (Eds.), Gender and ageing: Changing roles and relationships (pp. 79–94). Philadelphia: Open University Press.Google Scholar
Connidis, I.A. (2010). Family ties and aging (2nd ed.). Los Angeles: Pine Forge Press.Google Scholar
Dalton, S.E., & Bielby, D.D. (2000). “That’s our kind of constellation”: Lesbian mothers negotiate institutionalized understandings of gender within the family. Gender & Society, 14(1), 36–61. doi: 10.1177/089124300014001004.Google Scholar
Daly, K. (1992). The fit between qualitative research and the characteristics of families. In Gilgun, J.F., Daly, K., & Handel, G. (Eds.), Qualitative methods in family research (pp. 3–11). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Daly, K. (2007). Qualitative methods for family studies and human development. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
de Vries, B. (2007). LGBT couples in later life: A study in diversity. Generations, 31(3), 18–23.Google Scholar
Elder, G.H. (1994). Time, human agency, and social change: Perspectives on the life course. Social Psychology Quarterly, 57, 4–15. doi: 10.2307/2786971.Google Scholar
Green, A.I. (2010). Queer unions: Same-sex spouses marrying tradition and innovation. Canadian Journal of Sociology, 35, 399–436.Google Scholar
Grossman, A.H. (2008). Conducting research among older lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 20, 51–67. doi: 10.1080/10538720802178924.Google Scholar
Humble, A.M. (2009). The second time ’round: Remarried couples’ gender construction in wedding planning. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 50, 260–281. doi: 10.1080/10502550902775994.Google Scholar
Humble, A.M., Zvonkovic, A.M., & Walker, A.J. (2008). “The royal we”: Gender ideology, display, and assessment in wedding work. Journal of Family Issues, 29, 3–25. doi: 10.1177/0192513X07305900.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kimmel, D.C. (2004). Issues to consider in studies of midlife and older sexual minorities. In Herdt, G. & de Vries, B. (Eds.), Gay and lesbian aging: Research and future directions (pp. 265–283). New York: Springer.Google Scholar
Lahey, K.A., & Alderson, K. (2004). Same-sex marriage: The personal and the political. Toronto: Insomniac Press.Google Scholar
Lannutti, P.J. (2007). “This is not a lesbian wedding”: Examining same-sex marriage and bisexual-lesbian couples. Journal of Bisexuality, 7, 239–260.Google Scholar
Lannutti, P.J. (2008). Attractions and obstacles while considering legally recognized same-sex marriage. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 4, 245–264. doi: 10.1080/15504280802096914.Google Scholar
Lannutti, P.J. (2011). Security, recognition, and misgivings: Exploring older same-sex couples’ experiences of legally recognized same-sex marriage. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 64–82. doi: 10.1177/0265407510386136.Google Scholar
Larson, L.E., & Goltz, J.W. (1989). Religious participation and marital commitment. Review of Religious Research, 30, 387–400. doi: 10.2307/3511299.Google Scholar
LaSala, M.C. (2003). When interviewing “family”: Maximizing the insider advantage in the qualitative study of lesbians and gay men. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 15(1/2), 15–30. doi: 10.1300/J041v15n01_02.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
LaSala, M.C. (2005). Queering ideas: The descriptive and theory-building potential of qualitative research with lesbian and gay families. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 18, 61–72. doi: 10.1300/J041v18n02_04.Google Scholar
Le Bourdais, C., & Lapierre-Adamcyk, É. (2004). Changes in conjugal life in Canada: Is cohabitation progressively replacing marriage? Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, 929–942. doi: 10.1111/j.0022-2445.2004.00063.x.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
MacIntosh, H., Reissing, E.D., & Andruff, H. (2010). Same-sex marriage in Canada: The impact of legal marriage on the first cohort of gay and lesbian Canadians to wed. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 19(3), 79–90.Google Scholar
Mulé, N.J. (2010). Same-sex marriage and Canadian relationship recognition – One step forward, two steps back: A critical liberationist perspective. Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services, 22, 74–90. doi: 10.1080/10538720903332354.Google Scholar
Osborne, C., Manning, W.D., & Smock, P.J. (2007). Married and cohabiting parents’ relationship stability: A focus on race and ethnicity. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 1345–1366. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00451.x.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Oswald, R.F. (2002a). Resilience within the families of lesbians and gay men: Intentionality and redefinition. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 374–383. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3737.2002.00374.x.Google Scholar
Oswald, R.F. (2002b). Who am I in relation to them? Gay, lesbian, and queer people leave the city to attend rural family weddings. Journal of Family Issues, 23, 323–348. doi: 10.1177/0192513X02023003001.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Oswald, R.F. (2002c). Inclusion and belonging in the family rituals of gay and lesbian people. Journal of Family Psychology, 16, 428–436. doi: 10.1037/0893-3200.16.4.428.Google Scholar
Oswald, R.F., & Suter, E.A. (2004). Heterosexist inclusion and exclusion during ritual: A “straight versus gay” comparison. Journal of Family Issues, 25, 881–899. doi: 10.1177/0192513X04267278.Google Scholar
Porche, M.V., & Purvin, D.M. (2008). “Never in our lifetime”: Legal marriage for same-sex couples in long-term relationships. Family Relations, 57, 144–159. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00490.x.Google Scholar
Reczek, C., Elliott, S., & Umberson, D. (2009). Commitment without marriage: Union formation among long-term same-sex couples. Journal of Family Issues, 30, 738–756. doi: 10.1177/0192513X09331574.Google Scholar
Richards, L., & Morse, J.M. (2007). Readme first for a user’s guide to qualitative methods (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Rose, H.A. (2012). Canada’s same-sex marriage law: Exception to or exemplar of Canada’s family policy? Journal of Child and Family Studies, 21, 88–94. doi: 10.1007/s10826-011-9479-7.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Schoenberg, N.E., Shenk, D., & Kart, C.S. (2007). Food for thought: Nourishing the publication of qualitative research. The Journal of Applied Gerontology, 26, 4–16. doi: 10.1177/0733464806296938.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Schope, R.D. (2005). Who’s afraid of growing old: Gay and lesbian perceptions of aging. Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 45(4), 23–39. doi: 10.1300/J083v45n04_03.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Smart, C. (2007). Same sex couples and marriage: Negotiating relational landscapes with families and friends. The Sociological Review, 55, 671–686. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-954X.2007.00747.x.Google Scholar
Statistics, Canada. (2006). 2006 Census information on same-sex common-law and married couples. Retrieved September 7, 2012, fromhttp://www12.statcan.gc.ca/census-recensement/2006/ref/info/same_sex-meme_sexe-eng.cfm.Google Scholar
Statistics, Canada. (2011). Median total income, by family type, by province and territory. Retrieved September 29, 2012, fromhttp://www.statcan.gc.ca/tables-tableaux/sum-som/l01/cst01/famil108a-eng.htm.Google Scholar
Statistics, Canada. (2012a). Portrait of families and living arrangements in Canada: Families, households, and marital status, 2011 Census of Population. Retrieved September 25, 2012, fromhttp://www12.statcan.gc.ca/census-recensement/2011/as-sa/98-312-x/98-312-x2011001-eng.pdf.Google Scholar
Statistics, Canada. (2012b). Conjugal status and opposite/same-sex status (7), sex (3) and age groups (7A) for persons living in couples in private households of Canada, provinces, territories and census metropolitan areas, 2011 census. Retrieved September 25, 2012, fromhttp://www12.statcan.gc.ca/census-recensement/2011/dp-pd/tbt-tt/Rp-eng.cfm?LANG=E&APATH=3&DETAIL=0&DIM=0&FL=A&FREE=0&GC=0&GID=0&GK=0&GRP=1&PID=102574&PRID=0&PTYPE=101955&S=0&SHOWALL=0&SUB=0&Temporal=2011&THEME=89&VID=0&VNAMEE=&VNAMEF=.Google Scholar
Strauss, A., & Corbin, J. (1990). Basics of qualitative research: Grounded theory procedures and techniques. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Thorne, S. (2008). Interpretive description. Walnut Creek, CA: Left Coast Press.Google Scholar
Thorne, S., Kirkham, S.R., & O’Flynn-Magee, K. (2004). The analytic challenge in interpretive description. International Journal of Qualitative Methods, 3(1), 1–11. Retrieved January 29, 2012, fromhttp://ejournals.library.ualberta.ca/index.php/IJQM/article/view/4481/3619.Google Scholar
Wedding, Bells. (2012). Wedding trends in Canada 2012. Retrieved September 29, 2012, fromhttp://www.weddingbells.ca/blogs/planning/2012/04/11/wedding-trends-in-canada-2012/attachment/wedding-budget/.Google Scholar