Skip to main content Accessibility help

We use cookies to distinguish you from other users and to provide you with a better experience on our websites. Close this message to accept cookies or find out how to manage your cookie settings.

Close cookie message
×
Hostname: page-component-586b7cd67f-t8hqh Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-12-01T00:11:02.992Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

7 - Communication and Relationship Maintenance

from Part III - Processes of Relationship Maintenance

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  02 December 2019

By
Laura Stafford
Edited by
Brian G. Ogolsky  and
J. Kale Monk
Brian G. Ogolsky
Affiliation:
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
J. Kale Monk
Affiliation:
University of Missouri
Get access

Summary

This chapter reviews scholarship on communication and relational maintenance and introduces a new conceptualization of relational maintenance: maintenance as growth. Communication plays a unique role in the maintenance of relationships, as it serves both as a maintenance mechanism and as the means through which other maintenance mechanisms are made manifest. In order to limit the scope, the focus is upon romantic relationships. A synopsis of the history of the study of communication and relational maintenance is offered by reviewing typologies, motivations, antecedents, and the complex connections among maintenance behaviors and relational features. The four most often invoked definitions of maintenance are reviewed, and a fifth new definition of maintenance is proposed in order to extend our conceptualizations of relational maintenance. This fifth, heretofore unarticulated (at least explicitly), is one wherein maintenance is seen as the process of keeping a relationship growing. Maintenance is defined as the state and process of growth or continuous positive change. How we communicate maintenance in accordance with definitions of relational maintenance is considered. Areas for further research are put forward, including attention to maintenance as a multiplex of behaviors as well as the valence, context, timing, and perceived intent of maintenance behaviors.

Keywords

relational maintenancemaintenance strategiesmaintenance behaviorsrelational communicationinterpersonal communicationromantic relationships
Type
Chapter
Information
Relationship Maintenance
Theory, Process, and Context
 , pp. 109 - 133
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2019

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Agnew, C. R., & VanderDrift, L. E. (2015). Relationship maintenance and dissolution. In Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R., Simpson, J. A., & Dovidio, J. F. (Eds.), APA handbooks in psychology. APA handbook of personality and social psychology, Vol. 3. Interpersonal relations (pp. 581–604). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.Google Scholar
Alberts, J. K., Yoshimura, C. G., Rabby, M., & Loschiavo, R. (2005). Mapping the topography of couples’ daily conversation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 299–322. doi:10.1177/0265407505050941CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Avtgis, T. A., West, D. V., & Anderson, T. L. (1998). Relationship stages: An inductive analysis identifying cognitive, affective, and behavioral dimensions of Knapp’s relational stages model. Communication Research Reports, 15, 280–287. doi:10.1080/08824099809362124Google Scholar
Ayres, J. (1983). Strategies to maintain relationships: Their identification and perceived usage. Communication Quarterly, 31, 62–67.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Baxter, L. A. (1994). A dialogic approach to relational maintenance. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 233–254). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Baxter, L. A., & Dindia, K. (1990). Marital partners’ perceptions of marital maintenance strategies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 7, 187–208. doi:10.1177/0265407590072003Google Scholar
Baxter, L. A., & Pittman, G. (2001). Communicatively remembering turning points of relational development in heterosexual romantic relationships. Communication Reports, 14, 1–17. doi:10.1080/08934210109367732CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Bell, R. A., Daly, J. A., & Gonzalez, M. C. (1987). Affinity-maintenance in marriage and its relationship to women’s marital satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, 445–454.Google Scholar
Braiker, H. B., & Kelley, H. H. (1979). Conflict in the development of close relationships. In Burgess, R. L. & Huston, T. L. (Eds.), Social exchange in developing relationships (pp. 135–168). New York: Academic Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Burgess, E. W. (1926). The family as a unity of interacting personalities. The Family, 7, 3–9.Google Scholar
Canary, D. J. (2011). On babies, bathwater, and absolute claims: Reply to Stafford. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 304–311. doi:10.1177/0265407510397523Google Scholar
Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (1992). Relational maintenance strategies and equity in marriage. Communication Monographs, 59, 243–267. doi:10.1080/03637759209376268Google Scholar
Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (1994). Maintaining relationships through strategic and routine interaction. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 3–22). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (2001). Equity in the preservation of personal relationships. In Harvey, J. & Wenzel, A. (Eds.), Close romantic relationships: Maintenance and enhancement (pp. 133–151). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Canary, D. J., Stafford, L., & Semic, B. A. (2002). A panel study of the associations between maintenance strategies and relational characteristics. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 395–406.Google Scholar
Dailey, R. M., Hampel, A. D., & Roberts, J. B. (2010). Relational maintenance in on-again/off-again relationships: An assessment of how relational maintenance, uncertainty, and commitment vary by relationship type and status. Communication Monographs, 77(1), 75–101. doi:10.1080/03637750903514292CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dailey, R. M., Jin, B., Pfiester, A., & Beck, G. (2011). On-again/off-again dating relationships: What keeps partners coming back? The Journal of Social Psychology, 151, 417–440.Google Scholar
Dainton, M. (2000). Maintenance behaviors, expectations for maintenance, and satisfaction: Linking comparison levels to relational maintenance strategies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 827–842. doi:10.1177/0265407500176007CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dainton, M. (2017). Equity, equality, and self-interest in marital maintenance. Communication Quarterly, 65, 247–221. doi:10.1080/01463373.2016.1227346Google Scholar
Dainton, M., Goodboy, A. K., Borzea, D., & Goldman, Z. W. (2017). The dyadic effects of relationship uncertainty on negative relational maintenance. Communication Reports, 30, 170–181. doi:10.1080/08934215.2017.1282529CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dainton, M., & Gross, J. (2008). The use of negative behaviors to maintain relationships. Communication Research Reports, 25, 179–191. doi:10.1080/08824090802237600CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dainton, M., & Stafford, L. (1993). Routine maintenance behaviors: A comparison of relationship type, partner similarity and sex differences. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 255–271. doi:10.1177/026540759301000206Google Scholar
Dainton, M., & Stafford, L. (2000). Predicting maintenance enactment from relational schemata, spousal behavior, and relational characteristics. Communication Research Reports, 17, 171–180. doi:10.1080/08824090009388763Google Scholar
Davis, M. S. (1973). Intimate relations. New York: Free Press.Google Scholar
Denes, A., Dhillon, A., & Speer, A. C. (2017). Relational maintenance strategies during the post sex time interval. Communication Quarterly, 65, 307–332. doi:10.1080/01463373.2016.1245206CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dindia, K. (1994). A multiphasic view of relationship maintenance strategies. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 91–112). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Dindia, K. (2003). Definitions and perspectives on relational maintenance communication. In Canary, D. J. & Dainton, M. (Eds.), Maintaining relationships through communication: Relational, contextual and cultural variations (pp. 1–28). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Dindia, K., & Baxter, L. A. (1987). Strategies for maintaining and repairing marital relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 4, 143–158. doi:10.1177/0265407587042003Google Scholar
Dindia, K., & Canary, D. J. (1993). Definitions and theoretical perspectives on maintaining relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 163–173.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Duck, S. W. (1988). Relating to others. Chicago: Dorsey.Google Scholar
Dunleavy, K. N., & Booth-Butterfield, M. (2009). Idiomatic communication in the stages of coming together and falling apart. Communication Quarterly, 57, 416–432. doi:10.1080/01463370903320906CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Fincham, F. D. (2010). Forgiveness: Integral to a science of close relationships? In Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P. (Eds.), Prosocial motives, emotions, and behavior: The better angels of our nature (pp. 347–365). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.Google Scholar
Fincham, F., Hall, J., & Beach, S. (2006). Forgiveness in marriage: Current status and future directions. Family Relations, 55, 415–427.Google Scholar
Fitzpatrick, M. A., & Badzinski, D. M. (1985). All in the family: Interpersonal communication in kin relationships. In Knapp, M. L. & Miller, G. R. (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal communication (pp. 687–736). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Fowler, C., & Gasiorek, J. (2017). Depressive symptoms, excessive reassurance seeking, and relationship maintenance. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34, 91–113. doi:10.1177/0265407515624265Google Scholar
Gable, S. L., & Reis, H. T. (2001). Appetitive and aversive social interaction. In Harvey, J. & Wenzel, A. (Eds.), Close romantic relationships: Maintenance and enhancement (pp. 169–194). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Gilbertson, J., Dindia, K., & Allen, M. (1998). Relational continuity constructional units and the maintenance of relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15(6), 774–790. doi:10.1177/0265407598156004CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Girme, Y. U., Overall, N. C., & Faingataa, S. (2014). “Date nights” take two: The maintenance function of shared relationship activities. Personal Relationships, 21, 125–149. doi:10.1111/pere.12020Google Scholar
Goffman, E. (1967). Interaction ritual; essays on face-to-face behavior (1st ed.). Garden City, NY: Doubleday.Google Scholar
Gottman, J. M. (1979). Marital interaction: Experimental investigations. New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. (2017). The natural principles of love. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9, 7–26. doi:10.1111/jftr.12182CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Guerrero, L. K., & Bachman, G. F. (2006). Associations among relational maintenance behaviors, attachment-style categories, and attachment dimensions. Communication Studies, 57, 341–361.Google Scholar
Honeycutt, J. M. (2010). Imagine that: Studies in imagined interactions. Cresskill, NJ: Hampton Press.Google Scholar
Kalish, N. (2005). Lost & found lovers: Facts and fantasies of rekindled romances. Lincoln: iUniverse.Google Scholar
Knapp, M. L. (1984). Interpersonal communication and human relationships. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.Google Scholar
Knee, C., Patrick, H., & Lonsbary, C. (2003). Implicit theories of relationships: Orientations toward evaluation and cultivation. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 7, 41–55. doi:10.1207/S15327957PSPR0701_3Google Scholar
Ledbetter, A. M. (2013). Relational maintenance and inclusion of the other in the self: Measure development and dyadic test of a self-expansion theory approach. The Southern Communication Journal, 78, 289–310. doi:10.1080/1041794X.2013.815265Google Scholar
Ledbetter, A. M. (2017). Relational maintenance behavior and shared TV viewing as mediators of the association between romanticism and romantic relationship quality. Communication Studies, 68, 95–20. doi:10.1080/10510974.2016.1263804Google Scholar
Ledbetter, A. M., Stassen, H., Muhammad, A., & Kotey, E. N. (2010). Relational maintenance as including the other in the self. Qualitative Research Reports in Communication, 11, 21–28. doi:10.1080/17459430903413457Google Scholar
Ledbetter, A. M., Stassen‐Ferrara, H. M., & Dowd, M. M. (2013). Comparing equity and self‐expansion theory approaches to relational maintenance. Personal Relationships, 20, 38–51.Google Scholar
Levin, D. Z., Walter, J., & Murnighan, J. K. (2011). Dormant ties: The value of reconnecting. Organization Science, 22, 923–939. doi:10.1287/orsc.1100.0576Google Scholar
Lewis, J. T., Parra, G. R., & Cohen, R. (2015). Apologies in close relationships: A review of theory and research. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 7, 47–61. doi:10.1111/jftr.12060Google Scholar
Merolla, A. (2010). Relational maintenance and noncopresence reconsidered: Conceptualizing geographic separation in close relationships. Communication Theory, 20, 169–193. doi:10.1111/j.1468-2885.2010.01359.xCrossRefGoogle Scholar
Merolla, A. J. (2014). The role of hope in conflict management and relational maintenance. Personal Relationships, 21, 365–386. doi:10.1111/pere.12037CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Monk, J. K., Vennum, A. V., Ogolsky, B. G., & Fincham, F. D. (2014). Commitment and sacrifice in emerging adult romantic relationships. Marriage & Family Review, 50, 416–434. doi:10.1080/01494929.2014.896304Google Scholar
Murray, S., Holmes, J., Griffin, D., & Derrick, J. (2015). The equilibrium model of relationship maintenance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108, 93–113. doi:10.1037/pspi0000004CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Ogolsky, B. (2009). Deconstructing the association between relationship maintenance and commitment: Testing two competing models. Personal Relationships, 16, 99–115. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01212.xCrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ogolsky, B. G., & Bowers, J. R. (2013). A meta-analytic review of relationship maintenance and its correlates. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30, 343–367. doi:10.1177/0265407512463338Google Scholar
Ogolsky, B. G., Monk, J. K., Rice, T. M., Theisen, J. C., & Maniotes, C. R. (2017). Relationship maintenance: A review of research on romantic relationships. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9, 275–306. doi:10.1111/jftr.12205Google Scholar
Parks, M. (1982). Ideology in interpersonal communication: Off the couch and into the world. In Burgoon, M. (Ed.), Communication yearbook 5 (pp. 79–107). New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction.Google Scholar
Pauley, P. M., Hesse, C., & Mikkelson, A. C. (2014). Trait affection predicts married couples’ use of relational maintenance behaviors. Journal of Family Communication, 14, 167–187.Google Scholar
Perlman, D. (2001). Maintaining and enhancing relationships: Concluding commentary. In Harvey, J. & Wenzel, A. (Eds.), Close romantic relationships: Maintenance and enhancement (pp. 357–378). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Proulx, C. M., Ermer, A. E., & Kanter, J. B. (2017). Group‐based trajectory modeling of marital quality: A critical review. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(3), 307–327.Google Scholar
Pytlak, M. A., Zerega, L. M., & Houser, M. L. (2015). Jealousy evocation: Understanding commitment, satisfaction, and uncertainty as predictors of jealousy-evoking behaviors. Communication Quarterly, 63, 310–328. doi:10.1080/01463373.2015.1039716Google Scholar
Ragsdale, J. D., & Brandau-Brown, F. E. (2005). Individual differences in the use of relational maintenance strategies in marriage. Journal of Family Communication, 5, 61–75. doi:10.1207/s15327698jfc0501_4CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ramirez, A., & Bryant, E. M. (2014). Relational reconnection on social network sites: An examination of relationship persistence and modality switching. Communication Reports, 27, 1–12. doi:10.1080/08934215.2013.851725Google Scholar
Ramirez, A., Sumner, E. M., & Spinda, J. (2017). The relational reconnection function of social network sites. New Media & Society, 19, 807–825. doi:10.1177/1461444815614199Google Scholar
Rawlins, W. K. (1994). Being there and growing apart: Sustaining friendships during adulthood. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 275–294). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Roloff, M. E. (1981). Interpersonal communication: The social exchange approach. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Romanoff, B. D. (1998). Rituals and the grieving process. Death Studies, 22, 697–711. doi:10.1080/074811898201227CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Rusbult, C. E., Drigotas, S. M., & Verette, J. (1994). The investment model: An interdependence analysis of commitment processes and relationship maintenance phenomena. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 114–140). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Schoenfeld, E. A., Bredow, C. A., & Huston, T. L. (2012). Do men and women show love differently in marriage? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38, 1396–1409. doi:10.1177/0146167212450739Google Scholar
Sigman, S. J. (1991). Handling the discontinuous aspects of continuous social relationships: Toward research on the persistence of social forms. Communication Theory, 1, 106–127. doi:10.1111/j.1468-2885.1991.tb00008.xGoogle Scholar
Spanier, G. B., & Lewis, R. A. (1980). Marital quality: A review of the seventies. Journal of Marriage and Family, 42, 825–839.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Stafford, L. (1994). Tracing the threads of spider webs. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 297–306). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Stafford, L. (2003). Definitions and perspectives on relational maintenance communication. In Canary, D. J. & Dainton, M. (Eds.), Maintaining relationships through communication: Relational, contextual and cultural variations (pp. 1–30). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Stafford, L. (2005). Maintaining long-distance and cross-residential relationships. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Stafford, L. (2011). Measuring relationship maintenance behaviors: Critique and development of the revised relationship maintenance behavior scale. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 278–303. doi:10.1177/0265407510378125Google Scholar
Stafford, L. (2016). Marital sanctity, relationship maintenance, and marital quality. Journal of Family Issues, 37, 119–131.Google Scholar
Stafford, L., & Canary, D. J. (1991). Maintenance strategies and romantic relationship type, gender and relational characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 8, 217–242. doi:10.1177/0265407591082004Google Scholar
Stafford, L., & Canary, D. J. (2006). Equity and interdependence as predictors of relational maintenance strategies. Journal of Family Communication, 6, 227–254. doi:10.1207/s15327698jfc0604_1Google Scholar
Stafford, L., Dainton, M., & Haas, S. (2000). Measuring routine and strategic relational maintenance: Scale revision, sex versus gender roles, and the prediction of relational characteristics. Communication Monographs, 67, 306–323. doi:10.1080/03637750009376512Google Scholar
Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., Sadberry, S. L., Clements, M. L., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Sacrifice as a predictor of marital outcomes. Family Process, 45, 289–303.Google Scholar
Stewart, M. C., Dainton, M., & Goodboy, A. K. (2014). Maintaining relationships on Facebook: Associations with uncertainty, jealousy, and satisfaction. Communication Reports, 27, 13–26. doi:10.1080/08934215.2013.845675CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Waldron, V. R., & Kelley, D. L. (2008). Communicating forgiveness. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.Google Scholar
Weigel, D. J. (2008). A dyadic assessment of how couples indicate their commitment to each other. Personal Relationships, 15, 17–39. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00182.xCrossRefGoogle Scholar
Weigel, D. J., & Ballard-Reisch, D. S. (2014). Constructing commitment in intimate relationships: Mapping interdependence in the everyday expressions of commitment. Communication Research, 41, 311–332. doi:10.1177/0093650212440445Google Scholar
Weigel, D. J., Lalasz, C. B., & Weiser, D. A. (2016). Maintaining relationships: The role of implicit relationship theories and partner fit. Communication Reports, 29, 23–34. doi:10.1080/08934215.2015.1017653Google Scholar
Weigel, D. J., Weiser, D. A., & Lalasz, C. B. (2017). Testing a motivational model of relationship maintenance: The role of approach and avoidance relationship goals. Western Journal of Communication, 81, 341–361. doi:10.1080/10570314.2016.1240372Google Scholar
Wilmot, W. W. (1994). Relationship rejuvenation. In Canary, D. J. & Stafford, L. (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 255–273). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Wilmot, W. W. (1995). Relational communication (1st ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.Google Scholar
Yamaguchi, M., Smith, A., & Ohtsubo, Y. (2015). Commitment signals in friendship and romantic relationships. Evolution and Human Behavior, 36, 467–474.Google Scholar
Yoshimura, C. G., & Alberts, J. K. (2008). Television viewing and relational maintenance. In Moyrly, T. (Ed.), Studies in applied interpersonal communication (pp. 287–307). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×