Letter VI

Summary

My dear Father and Mother,

I write to you both, at this time, for your Advice in a particular Case, that is the only one, that I have had, or I hope ever shall have, with my dear Benefactor, by way of Dispute; and as he is pleased to insist upon his way, and it is a Point of Conscience with me, I must resolve, I think, to be determin’d by your joint Advice; and if my Father and Mother, and Husband, are of one Opinion, I must yield up my own:

This is the Subject: I think a Mother ought, if she can, to be the Nurse to her own Children.

Mr. B. says, he will not permit it.

It is the first will not I have heard from him, or given Occasion for: And I tell him, that as it is a Point of Conscience withme, I hope he will indulge me: But the dear Gentleman has an odd way of arguing, that sometimes puzzles me. He pretends to answer me from Scripture; but I have some Doubts of his Exposition; and he gives me Leave to write to you, tho’ yet he won't promise to be determin’d by your Opinions, if they are not the same with his own; and I say to him, Is this fair, my dearest Mr. B.? Is it?—

He has got the Dean's Opinion with him; for our Debate began before we came to Town: But then he would not let me state the Case; but did it himself; and yet ‘tis but an half Opinion, as I may say, neither. For it is, That if the Husband is set upon it, it is a Wife's Duty to obey.

But I can't see how that is; for if it be the natural Duty of a Mother, it is a Divine Duty; and how can a Husband have Power to discharge a Divine Duty?—As great as a Wife's Obligation is to obey her Husband, which is, I own, one Indispensable of the Marriage Contract, it ought not to interfere with what one takes to be a superior Duty: And must not one be one's own Judge of Actions, by which we must stand or fall?