8 - Changes in the Couple Relationship over Time

Summary

In Chapter 8, we consider how the arrival of a first child impacted on or shaped the couple relationship. Specifically, we contrast the assumption that having a child will bring a couple closer together with the reality of the many challenges that a new child can bring with them. To do this, we look closely at three of the couples we interviewed, as broadly indicative of the range of the experiences of the couples. For some, the couple experienced a strong supportive relationship across the transition to new parenthood. For others, the arrival of a baby exacerbated existing challenges, and for some new challenges arose. Often these challenges were specifically gendered, related to women’s expectations about men’s involvement, and men’s shifting views about how they would be involved. While these challenges often resolved themselves with time and after increased communication in the couple, they presented the couple relationship with an often unexpected weight that had to be grappled with.