1 - Underrepresented and undervalued: my reflections on school, university and the doctoral application process

Summary

There was certainly a noticeable absence of Black women in science, let alone Physics, who had graduated and went on to do PhDs. The prospect of that one day being me had never crossed my mind. When I arrived at university, I came into contact with many different types of students, but few who looked like me. For some of them, going to university, and maybe even becoming a lecturer, was a childhood dream or something they had already envisaged for themselves. Perhaps they had aunties or uncles who had graduated and become doctors, or family members who worked in academia. If you had asked an eight- year- old me, however, ‘What do you want to do when you’re older?’, I definitely would not have fathomed the idea of studying for a PhD.

That says a lot, given that I was an incredibly aspirational child growing up. My dreams ranged from wanting to be an author, to a food photographer, an athlete, architect or a graphic designer – the list goes on. I was the type of child who always wanted to try new things. But ultimately my dreams were limited by what I knew and saw around me. It speaks to the importance of representation and the effect it can have on what we perceive our potential futures to look like. Even if I had heard of doing a doctorate at that age, it probably would not have felt tangible, like it may have to others, because I had not seen people like me doing it. The image presented in books, films and TV is always of the ‘mad scientist’, with straight, white, spiky hair, big glasses and a lab coat; not someone that reminded me of my aunties, cousins or friends. Navigating that meant relying on self- motivation so that the inconceivable could one day become real – and that was ultimately the main thing that carried me through.

For me, school was a pleasant experience. I had positive feelings towards education throughout primary and secondary school. Growing up in a state school in London meant that I had friends and teachers with a mix of cultures, backgrounds and opinions.