5 - Marvelous Feats: Humor, Trickery, and Violence in the History of the Counts of Guines and Lords of Ardres of Lambert of Ardres

Summary

Lambert of Ardres in his History of the Counts of Guines and Lords of Ardres (ca. 1206) tells of an incident at the wedding of Arnold II “the Old” of Ardres and Gertrude of Aalst:

Now, among the many folk coming together from many regions to attend the nuptials, there was a certain rogue, a beer-drinker – as the custom of that time was. When he dined in the house with the other feasters, he proclaimed and boasted amongst them that he was such a great drinker that if the lord bridegroom would give him some sort of nag or horse, he would drink up a great keg, completely full of beer, that Arnold [the bridegroom] had in his cellar. When the bung had been pulled, he would place his mouth at the opening and not remove it until the keg was empty. And he would void his waste at the same time, as he had just prepared and arranged a place where he might pour out or release the urine from his manly rod. When the bridegroom took the bet, the rogue matched his deeds to the words and emptied the keg – Oh, the gluttony of drinkers!; Oh, the indiscreet prodigality of princes!; – just as he had predicted and accepted in the bet: he drained, chugged, drank, and, at the same time, urinated. […]