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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 June 2022
My dearest Lady,
A thousand Thanks for your kind, your truly Sisterly Letter and Advice. Mr. B. is just return’d from a Tour to Portsmouth, I believe, with the Countess; but am not sure.
Here I am forc’d to leave off—Let me scratch thro’ this last Surmise. It seems, she was not with him. This is some Comfort, however.
He is very kind; and Billy not being well, when he came in, my Grief passed off without Blame. He has said a great many kind Things to me: But added, That if I gave myself so much Uneasiness every Time the Child ailed any thing, he would hire the Nurse to over-lay him. Bless me, Madam! what hard-hearted, what shocking Things are these Men capable of saying!—The farthest from their Hearts, indeed; so they had need!—For he was as glad of the Child's being better as I could be.
In the Morning he went out in the Chariot for about an Hour, and return’d in a very good Humour, saying twenty agreeable Things to me, which makes me so proud, and so pleas’d!
He is gone out again.
Could I but find this Matter happily conquer’d, for his own Soul's sake!—But he seems, by what your Ladyship mentions, to have carry’d this Polygamy Point with the Lady.
Can I live with him, Madam,—Ought I—if this be the Case? I have it under his Hand, that the Laws of his Country were sufficient to deter him from this Practice. But oh! he knew not this Countess then! They say, she is a fine Woman!—
But here I must break off. He is return’d, and coming up. Go into my Bosom, for the present, O Letter dedicated to dear Lady Davers—Come to my Hand, the Play Imployment, so unsuited to my present afflicted Mind!—Here he comes!
O but, Madam, Madam! my Heart is almost broken!—Just now Mr. B. tells me, that the Countess-Dowager, and the Viscountess her Sister, are to be here to see my Billy, and to drink Tea with me, this very Afternoon!
I was all Confusion, when he told me this. I looked around and around, and upon every thing but him.
Will not my Friends be welcome, Pamela? said he, sternly.
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