from Part IV - The Years after 1945
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 14 March 2018
Januári hajnal
Halottaim a szívemben élnek.
A fagyosan izzó lámpafények
árnyaiba botlom. Hét óra még,
csillagait most oltja ki az ég.
Tetves, szétfoszló szennyfoltos ingben
ilyenkor álltunk ki Kauferingben
szitkok közt, félőn, csatakba fúlva,
gyomrunkba az éhség kínját gyúrva.
És mégis élek. A gyárszirénák
az élet frissült alarmját fújják.
A hó fagyott harmatként szikrázik.
A város ébred, a szívem fázik.
Azután lassan felenged lelkem,
gondom harcos gondolatba rebben.
Roppant hangja a világnak ébreszt,
hogy méltó legyek nagy egészéhez.
Kattog a gép, friss hadrendbe állnak
szavaim. Már oszlanak az árnyak.
Az ablakon át kéken kél a reggel,
s én megtelek boldog munkakedvvel.
Lelkem mélyén még kimérák élnek,
de hatalmasabb náluk az élet.
Ki annyit sirattam és temettem:
a harc majd megvált magamtól éngem.
Cluj-Napoca, 1946January Dawn
The dead live in my heart. I limp through nights
of shadow cast by an icy haze of lights.
Seven pm. The hour or thereabouts
when sky decides to put the last stars out.
It is the time when at Kaufering we'd stand
in torn, stained shirts, in lice-infested bands,
frightened, cursed, half-drowned in seas of mud,
tortured with hunger, weak for lack of food.
And yet still living. The factory siren blasts
the latest of life's alarms while body lasts.
Snow sparkles like dew as the town awakes,
the heart cools down, a mass of chills and aches.
Then slowly soul recovers, mind rebels,
and turns to thoughts of struggle. Martial bells
begin to ring and wake the world. I rise
and hope to be worthy of such enterprise.
The typewriter clacks on, my words line up
in battle-order. And off the shadows slip,
morning arrives out of the clearest blue,
I'm ready and fighting fit to see it through.
Deep down the dark chimeras still survive
but how much greater the sense of being alive.
I who have wept and filled too many graves,
am rescued from myself. The struggle saves.
Klausenburg, 1946—Translated by George SzirtesTo save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.
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