Concerts

Summary

It would be ungrateful of me not to mention the pleasant hours concert promoters have enabled me to spend in Paris this winter.

Almost every day for four months, I have been one of the actors in the following comedy:

The scene is a modestly furnished study, with a sick man coughing by the corner of his fireplace. Two pianists enter, followed by three more pianists, then another four pianists and a violinist.

Pianist no. 1 (to the sick man): I hear you’re not at all well, Monsieur.

Pianist no. 2: Yes, I understand that your health …

Pianists nos. 7 & 9: We’re told you’re seriously ill.

Pianist no. 1: So I’m here … to ask you to come to my concert at Érard’s

recital hall.

Pianist no. 2: So I’ve made a point of coming to ask you … to be good

enough to come and hear my new études in my recital at Pleyel’s.

Pianist no. 8: As for me, the only reason that brings me here, my dear

friend, is concern for your health. You work too hard; you should get

out, take the air, enjoy yourself. That’s why I’m here, to take you out; I

have a carriage at the door, you absolutely must come to my recital at

Herz’s.211 Come on! Off we go!

The sick man: When is your recital?

No. 1: At eight o’clock this evening.

The sick man: And yours?

No. 2: At eight o’clock this evening.

The sick man: And yours?

No. 8: At eight o’clock this evening.

The violinist (roaring with laughter): There are six or seven of them this evening, all at the same time. It was obvious to me that you’d follow your usual practice and not go to any of them, since you can’t do them all. What’s more, in my anxiety not to put you to any trouble, I’ve brought my violin with me, in its case. If you’ll allow me, I shall play you my new set of caprices on the G string.

The sick man (aside): “A plague on your string, you poisonous devil, I hope it strangles you.”