Essay on the Noble Science of Self-Justification

Summary

“For which an eloquence that aims to vex,

“With native tropes of anger arms the fix.”

Parnel.

ENDOWED, as the fair sex indisputably are, with a natural genius for the invaluable art of self-justification, it may not be displeafing to them to see its rising perfection evinced by an attempt to reduce it to a science. Possessed, as are all the fair daughters of Eve, of an hereditary propensity, transmitted to them undiminished through succeeding generations, to be “Soon moved with the slightest touch of blame;” very little precept and practice will confirm them in the habit, and instruct them in all the maxims of self-justification.

Candid pupil, you will readily accede to my first and fundamental axiom—

That a lady can do no wrong. But simple as this maxim may appear, and suited to the level of the meanest capacity, the talent of applying it on all the important, but more especially on all the most trivial, occurrences of domestic life, so as to secure private peace and public dominion, has hitherto been monopolized by the female adepts in the art.

Excuse me for infinuating by this expression, that there may yet be amongst you some novices. To these, if there be any such, I principally address myself.