“My Beloved Desk, the Best Place on this Earth”: Etty Hillesum Says Goodbye to Her Familiar Surroundings

Summary

Abstract

Etty Hillesum showed a special attachment to the desk in her room in Han Wegerif's house. It was her favourite place to be. Also other parts of her room were very dear and had a special meaning for her; for instance, the tree behind her window or the jasmine behind the house. Nevertheless, she had no grief to leave her room, her desk or the house where she had lived since 1939, because “in every place on earth, we are ‘at home’ when we carry everything within us.” In this contribution, Hillesum's remarks on the various parts of Wegerif's house are analyzed as well as the special meaning they had for her.

Keywords: house of Han Wegerif, Etty Hillesum's room, Etty Hillesum's desk, book case of Julius Spier, attachments, being at home.

Kde domov můj – “Where is my home?” The beginning of the Czech national anthem is an appropriate opening for this contribution about the longing of a Jewish woman for her home: the familiar desk where she would write her diaries, but which she had to say goodbye to when she went to work in the Westerbork transit camp. That woman is Etty Hillesum.

Hillesum's birth house on the Molenwater in Middelburg carries a plaque with an inscription that offers a partial answer to the question “Where is my home?”. It is a quotation from her diary:

In every place on earth, we are ‘at home,’ when we carry everything within us.

It is no surprise that Etty Hillesum could feel at home anywhere. As a child, she did not have much opportunity to be rooted in one place. With clock-like regularity, father Hillesum changed from one appointment as a teacher of classic languages, to another: Middelburg, Hilversum, Tiel, Winschoten, and finally, Deventer. Etty was ten years old when she moved to the city of Geert Groote where her father finally found a working environment that suited him.

As well, during her days as a student in Amsterdam, Etty Hillesum continuously changed address.