eight - Intergenerational conflict: the case of adult children and their parents

Summary

Introduction

Conflict between parents and their children has been intensively investigated in adolescence. According to individuation theory (for example, Grotevant and Cooper, 1986), across adolescence the parent–child relationship changes towards a less hierarchical relationship. Therefore, parents and adolescents have to find a new balance between their need for connectedness and adolescents’ growing need for autonomy. Especially in early adolescence, the negotiation of this task leads to heightened conflict (Smetana et al, 2006). Thus, conflict is a means to change the relationship and to negotiate questions of dependence and independence. It was assumed that at the end of adolescence a new quality of the parent–child relationship is established. However, the ongoing societal changes towards a prolonged education phase, later entry into full employment, and higher child-bearing ages seem to extend the period of individuation development (Arnett, 2000). Thus, intergenerational conflict in young adulthood can still be discussed against the background of an ongoing negotiation of independence from parents. With respect to conflict between middle-aged children and their parents, some authors have used the term ‘demilitarized zone’ (Hagestad, 1987). However, from a theoretical perspective, there are reasons to expect intergenerational conflict across the life-span. In this chapter, those theoretical perspectives on intergenerational relationships and their relevance for intergenerational conflict are outlined.

Additionally, there is also empirical evidence that intergenerational conflict plays a lifelong role in the relationships of adult children and their parents. In this chapter, research on different facets of conflicts will be summarised. The term ‘conflict’ refers to open disagreements, which covers discussions, arguments, controversies, quarrels and fights. Latent disagreements, which do not lead to an open engagement in conflict but which can result in feelings of tension, will also be considered. Additional aspects of intergenerational conflict in adulthood such as content and conflict resolution styles are presented. The findings on these aspects are connected with the theoretical perspectives. In order to provide a broader cross-cultural perspective, this chapter will include not only US-American studies but also European studies.

Theoretical perspectives on intergenerational conflict

A rich diversity of theories can be used to shed light on intergenerational conflict. First, the Intergenerational Solidarity approach is a seminal theory on intergenerational relationships (for example, Bengtson and Roberts, 1991; see also Chapter Two).