Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Preface
- Acknowledgments
- Introduction
- Part One Background
- 2 Hurts
- 3 The Origins of Hurt Feelings
- 4 The Developmental Socialization of Hurt Feelings
- 5 Hurt Feelings in the Family
- Part Two The Scientific Bases of Hurt Feelings
- Part Three Applications of Hurt Feelings in Mental Health
- Part Four Models of Hurt Feelings In Theory and Applications
- Appendix A An Informed Consent Form to Deal with Hurt Feelings
- Appendix B Experimental Scale of Unexpressed Hurt Feelings
- References
- Author Index
- Subject Index
2 - Hurts
The Avoided Feelings
from Part One - Background
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 05 June 2012
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Preface
- Acknowledgments
- Introduction
- Part One Background
- 2 Hurts
- 3 The Origins of Hurt Feelings
- 4 The Developmental Socialization of Hurt Feelings
- 5 Hurt Feelings in the Family
- Part Two The Scientific Bases of Hurt Feelings
- Part Three Applications of Hurt Feelings in Mental Health
- Part Four Models of Hurt Feelings In Theory and Applications
- Appendix A An Informed Consent Form to Deal with Hurt Feelings
- Appendix B Experimental Scale of Unexpressed Hurt Feelings
- References
- Author Index
- Subject Index
Summary
There is substantial experimental evidence to indicate that other mammals are affective creatures. Probably all vertebrates that exhibit strong instinctual emotional behaviors experience affects. Panksepp (2008, p. 49)
The task of semantic analysis is usually assigned to philosophers, but on occasion scientists take on this responsibility. Kagan (2007, p. 5)
The purpose of this chapter is to show how hurt feelings are avoided not only by humans, but also by the scientific and professional literature. This avoidance is either straightforward – hurt feelings are not mentioned – or indirect – as when a host of circumlocutions are used to avoid dealing with these feelings directly. However, an important distinction should be made from the outset: There is a difference between avoidance and neglect. Avoidance means denying, repressing, and suppressing hurt feelings. Neglect means being aware of those feelings but ignoring them by denying their importance. Neglect is another expression of avoidance.
With the advent of recent important publications (Barrett, Mesquita, Ochsner, & Gross, 2007; Coen & Allen, 2007; Reisenzein & Doring, 2009), relying on this distinction between feelings on the receptive side and emotions on the expressive side and adding a critical semantic analysis (such as performed in this chapter) might seem like beating a dead horse. However, equating and lumping together feelings with emotions without distinguishing between these two separate processes (L’Abate, 2009b) is an equation that is still persistently strong in the extant emotion literature. It must be shown that such an equation is misleading conceptually, unnecessary empirically, and superfluous practically.
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- Hurt FeelingsTheory, Research, and Applications in Intimate Relationships, pp. 37 - 76Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2011