Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Death Begins with the Loss of Our Cities…
- Are You Going to Be a Killer?
- An Idea Whose Time Has Come
- Your Decision
- Dogs Smelling Blood on a Hunt
- The Meaning of This Empire for Us
- Confronting Death
- The Ancient Wound
- The Essence of the State
- Becoming the Hunted
- Like Two Wistful Flowers
- The World's Greatest Mystery
- The Love That Will Never Fade
- What Does a Single Individual Matter?
- A Game of Revenge
- The Motherland Is Lost
- The Only Thing Keeping Me Alive
- No Intention of Surrendering
- A Man's Word Is His Honour
- An Inappropriate Sense of Compassion
- A Token of a Conversation
- I Am Not the One to Decide
- Miracles
- The Ability to Forgive Ourselves
- Losing One's Humanity
- No Choice But to Fight
- Give Me an Honourable Death
- The Walking Dead
- Save Yourself, Soldier
- Wishing for Help from the Dead
- Resign, Your Excellency!
- A False Sense of Security
- The True Power in the Land
- Betrothed to Life, Married to Death
- When the Wolf Dies in the Forest
- This Is Not Ankara
- Vultures Circling Over an Old Man
- Ignoble Alliances
- A Betrayal of Their Own History
- Fighting for a Lost Cause
- Evil Stalks This Land
- A Malevolent Rain
- A Fragmented Homeland, a Disintegrating World
- Turning Us All into Killers
- When I Began Losing My Country
- Farewell, My Beautiful Homeland
- Glossary
The Walking Dead
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Death Begins with the Loss of Our Cities…
- Are You Going to Be a Killer?
- An Idea Whose Time Has Come
- Your Decision
- Dogs Smelling Blood on a Hunt
- The Meaning of This Empire for Us
- Confronting Death
- The Ancient Wound
- The Essence of the State
- Becoming the Hunted
- Like Two Wistful Flowers
- The World's Greatest Mystery
- The Love That Will Never Fade
- What Does a Single Individual Matter?
- A Game of Revenge
- The Motherland Is Lost
- The Only Thing Keeping Me Alive
- No Intention of Surrendering
- A Man's Word Is His Honour
- An Inappropriate Sense of Compassion
- A Token of a Conversation
- I Am Not the One to Decide
- Miracles
- The Ability to Forgive Ourselves
- Losing One's Humanity
- No Choice But to Fight
- Give Me an Honourable Death
- The Walking Dead
- Save Yourself, Soldier
- Wishing for Help from the Dead
- Resign, Your Excellency!
- A False Sense of Security
- The True Power in the Land
- Betrothed to Life, Married to Death
- When the Wolf Dies in the Forest
- This Is Not Ankara
- Vultures Circling Over an Old Man
- Ignoble Alliances
- A Betrayal of Their Own History
- Fighting for a Lost Cause
- Evil Stalks This Land
- A Malevolent Rain
- A Fragmented Homeland, a Disintegrating World
- Turning Us All into Killers
- When I Began Losing My Country
- Farewell, My Beautiful Homeland
- Glossary
Summary
Good Night, Ester (Midnight, Day 8)
A storm whips up the desert and flings the sands over us. It is incredible to behold; in front of our very eyes, one sand dune is swept away, only for another to be almost instantly created in its place. The wind is so strong that we have to lie face down on the ground and hold on to each other in order not to be lifted up and swept away. There are three of us – Fuad, Basri Bey and I. Yes, I know Basri Bey is dead but I still do not find it odd having him there next to us, and neither does Fuad, who is clinging on to my arm with his right hand. We are lying still on the ground, the wind howling in our ears, the grains of sand thrashing around us, striking our hair and our heads like hot sparks.
‘Memories!’ I shout above the din. ‘Think of happy moments from your lives, happy memories, and hold on to them! Hold on to your most precious memories!’
Fuad does not respond but Basri Bey begins to say something.
‘I remember an oasis’, he mumbles. ‘Like a piece of paradise that has fallen to earth…’
He is only mumbling, yes, but I can hear him clearly, as though the storm is not there, as though its winds are not trying to turn us inside out and fling us into oblivion.
‘I'm exhausted’, he goes on, losing himself in his story. ‘As though I have been on the road for days and have not closed my eyes for days. My whole body rattles with every step the camel takes, and is swinging like a pendulum. It's hot. So hot, if I reach out, I'll be able to touch the sun. That is when the oasis appears in front of us…’
I listen to Basri Bey and feel his words come to life. Not even that, I become Basri Bey myself. There is no more Şehsuvar Sami; I am just the sum of what my beloved commandant sees, hears and feels. I am the one swinging like a pendulum on a camel, I am the one losing my mind in the suffocating heat.
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- Farewell, My Beautiful Homeland , pp. 347 - 360Publisher: Anthem PressPrint publication year: 2019