7 - Guilt, Shame, and Embarrassment

Summary

The narratives in this chapter focus on the echoes of trauma as reflected in the dynamics of interpersonal guilt in relation to the survivor parents and in the emotional experiences of shame and em- barrassment. The literature groups social emotions into four broad interpersonal clusters: affectionate, self-conscious, melancholic, and hostile. It has been suggested that these four clusters are embedded within social contexts and help shape and define the nature of close relationships (Guerrero & Andersen, 2000). The “self-conscious” emotions of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and pride are deemed particularly social in nature because they tend to occur in interpersonal or public contexts. The first three emotions are discussed in this chapter; pride is considered in the chapter on positive emotions. Here we delineate certain narratives according to the predominant self-conscious emotion in them (guilt or shame and embarrassment), although some of the recounted experiences clearly involved more than one.

GUILT

In contrast to traditional theories that depict guilt as an intrapersonal phenomenon based on self-judgment, contemporary researchers on emotions (e.g., Baumeister, Stillwell, & Heatherton, 1995; Jones, Kugler, & Adams, 1995) view guilt as an interpersonal phenomenon found in close relationships. According to this view, people may indeed experience guilt when they are alone, but the actual source of this unpleasant emotion is primarily interpersonal worries and problems (Baumeister, Reis, & Delespal, 1995) or interpersonal situations and relationships (Tangney, 1992).