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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 June 2022
Against a Sudden Intimacy, or Friendship, with one of a short Acquaintance.
Cousin Tom,
I am just setting out for Windsor, and have not time to say so much as I would on the Occasion upon which I now write to you. I hear that Mr. Douglas and you have lately contracted such an Intimacy, that you are hardly ever asunder: and as I know his Morals are not the best, nor his Circumstances the most happy, I fear he will, if he has not already done it, let you see, that he better knows what he does in seeking your Acquaintance, than you do in cultivating his.
I am far from desiring to abridge you in any necessary or innocent Liberty, or to prescribe too much to your Choice of a Friend: Nor am I against your being complaisant to Strangers; for this Gentleman's Acquaintance is not yet a Month old with you; but you must not think every Man whose Conversation is agreeable, fit to be immediately treated as a Friend: Of all Sorts, hastily-contracted Friendships promise the least Duration or Satisfaction; as theymost commonly arise from Design on one Side, and Weakness on the other. True Friendship must be the Effect of long and mutual Esteem and Knowledge: It ought to have for its Cement, an Equality of Years, a Similitude of Manners, and, pretty much, a Parity in Circumstance and Degree. But, generally speaking, an Openness to a Stranger carries with it strong Marks of Indiscretion, and not seldom ends in Repentance.
For these Reasons, I would be glad you would be upon your Guard, and proceed cautiously in this new Alliance.Mr. Douglas has Vivacity and Humour enough to please any Man of a light Turn; but were I to give my Judgment of him, I should pronounce him fitter for the Tea-table, than the Cabinet. He is smart, but very superficial; and treats all serious Subjects with a Contempt too natural to bad Minds; and I know more young Men than one, of whose good Opinion he has taken Advantage, and has made them wiser, though at their own Expence, than he found them.
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