Letter CLXIX

Summary

From one Brother to another, on the rash Marriage of a beloved Daughter of one of them, to a profligate young Fellow.

My dear Brother,

I am exceedingly concerned for the rash Step your Daughter Thomasin has made: I know how it must affect you, and I am myself not a little troubled at it. But we see how unfit we are to chuse for ourselves! And, oh! How often are we punished by the Enjoyment of our own Wishes!—You say, you would rather have follow’d her Corpse to the Grave, than that she should have thus thrown herself away on a Rake, a Prodigal, a Sot, and a Fool, as I, as well as you, know to be the Character of the Person she has chosen. I would not afflict you, my dear Brother, instead of pouring Balm on the Wounds of your Mind. But you will remember, that it is scarce two Years ago, when you were no less anxiously disturbed on Occasion of the violent Fever, which then endangered her Life. What Vows did you not put up for her Recovery! What Tumults of Grief then agitated your afflicted Mind! And how do you know, that then she was only restor’d at your incessant and importunate Prayers; but that otherwise, God Almighty, knowing what was best for you both, would have taken her away from this heavy Evil! This should teach us Resignation to the Divine Will, and that we are most unfit to chuse for ourselves: And even this Affliction, heavy as it is, may be sent, in order to wean you from a Delight that you had too much set your Heart upon.

Mean time, you must not, by too violent a Resentment and Reprobation of her, which I find you are resolv’d upon, add to the Miseries she has chosen. The poor Creature, will, I fear, too soon find her Punishment in her Choice; and already, I understand, she is driven to great Distress. You know she has strong Passions, and your too great Severity may precipitate her on her everlasting Ruin, when she becomes thoroughly sensible of the Condition she has brought herself to, from as happy Prospects as any young Lady could promise herself.