Letter CLXII

Summary

. The Niece's Answer: Describing the Behaviour of the sensible Lover.

Honoured Aunt,

I have, on so many Occasions, as well of this, as other kinds, been obliged to your kind Concern for me, that I should be very ingrateful, if I conceal’d from you the least Byass of my Mind on so important an Occasion. I think truly with you, that Mr. Rushford is a very valuable Gentleman; yet he is over-nice sometimes as to the Company I see; and would take upon him a little too much, if I did not keep him at a Distance; and particularly is so uneasy about the Captain, that he wants me to forbear seeing him on any Occasion. Now, I think, this is a little too prescribing, for the Time of our Acquaintance, and the small Progress I have hitherto permitted to the Intimacy between us. For what is this but surrendering to him upon his own Terms? and that, too, before I am summoned in Form? Nothing but a betrothed Lover, or a Husband, has surely a Right to expect this Observance; and if I were to oblige him, it is absolutely putting myself in his Power, before he convinces me how he will use it. O my dear Aunt, these Men, I see, even the worthiest of them, are incroaching Creatures!—And a Woman that would not be despis’d, must not make her Will too cheap an Offering to that of her Admirer. Then, my dear Aunt, I know not how it was with you formerly; but there is a Pleasure in being admired, that affects one very sensibly; and I know not whether even Mr. Rushford would say half the fine Things he does, if he had not a Competitor that says nothing else. And I think it a kind of Robbery that a Woman commits upon her Pleasures, if she too soon confines herself to one. For she can be but once courted; unless such an Event happens, that she must have a very bad Heart, that can wish for it. And why should a Woman absolutely bind herself to the Terms of For Better or For Worse, before she goes to Church?