Dear Abbe,
The national political scene has leaked into my lab. People on many sides of the spectrum are constantly squabbling. Verbal sniping escalates into deprecation of other folks’ mental capacity, parentage, and favorite fabric. Work suffers. What can I do to prevent the exchange of small arms fire, yet still keep the place functioning?
Just Trying to Keep the Roof on in Cincinnati
Dear Roofer,
Um Himmels willen! A problem as timeworn as the creation of politicians, which is purported to be soon after the establishment of an older, more respected profession. There will always be sharp divisions between people of strong, polarized opinions. Some may have origins in reality, but most are usually derived from some journalist's factoids (another profession with less esteem than the oldest). It used to be proper manners to never discuss politics or religion at social occasions or work. Now it appears to be quite en vogue to do so. I never stoop to endorse any particular individual because my ponderings are far above the menial distractions of the general public. I am also shrewd enough to avoid becoming a member of the duly elected. Instead, I prefer to reign as a mighty benefactor over my minions and lesser Associates. Ahem, sorry… I broke out in maniacal laughter for a moment there. Like the “cursing jar,” you should set up a “verboten topics jar” and have them deposit $10 every time they mention politics or religion. Maybe after a couple of months you can use the proceeds to acquire that new instrument you have had your eye on.
Make your life a little more surreal. Send your conundrums to Herr Abbe via his marginally sane assistant at [email protected].
