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At the bedside: A theological consideration of the role of silence and touch in the accompaniment of the dying

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 May 2020

Hina Khalid*
Affiliation:
Faculty of Divinity, West Road, Cambridge
*
*Corresponding author. E-mail: [email protected]

Abstract

This essay situates two embodied practices of palliative care, namely, the act of sitting with another in silence, and the act of gentle touch, within the broader conceptual framework of creatio ex nihilo. Centring on themes of particularity, creatureliness, and relationality, I argue that these practices, understood theologically, can be reframed as active participations in the self-giving love of God – thus setting forth a mode of loving relation with the dying person, rooted in a deep, attentive presence.

Type
Research Article
Copyright
Copyright © Cambridge University Press 2020

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References

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3 Muers, Keeping God's Silence, p. 172.

4 Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Death and Dying (London and New York: Routledge, 1969), p. 100Google Scholar.

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8 Rowan Williams, Being Human: Bodies, Minds, Persons (London: SPCK, 2018), p. 72.

9 Walter Brueggemann, Spirituality of the Psalms (Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 2002), p. 28.

10 Sioned Evans and Andrew Davison, Care for the Dying: A Practical and Pastoral Guide (Norwich: Canterbury Press, 2014), p. 27.

11 Kathryn Tanner, ‘Eschatology without a Future?’, in John Polkinghorne and Michael Welker (eds), The End of the World and the Ends of God: Science and Theology on Eschatology (Harrisburg, PA: Trinity Press International, 2000), p. 233.

12 Williams, On Augustine, p. 73; emphasis added.

13 McFarland, From Nothing, p. 65.

14 Ibid., p. 68.

15 Josef Pieper, Faith, Hope, Love (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1997), p. 164; emphasis added.

16 Ibid., p. 199. As Rowan Williams puts it, ‘the service of others’ rights or dignity is … simply the search to echo this permanent attitude of love, attention, respect, which the Creator gives to what is made’ (Williams, Being Human, p. 39).

17 Williams, Being Human, p. 36.

18 Ibid., p. 38.

19 Ibid., p. 37.

20 Harold Coward and Kelli I. Stajduhar, ‘Introduction’, in Harold Coward and Kelli I. Stajduhar (eds), Religious Understandings of a Good Death in Hospice Palliative Care (New York: State University of New York Press, 2012), p. 5.

21 David Clark, ‘Foreword’, in Cicely Saunders (ed.), Watch with Me: Inspiration for a Life in Hospice Care (Lancaster: Observatory Publications, 2005), p. 12.

22 Saunders, Watch with Me, p. 1.

23 Saunders noted that the entire physical environment of the hospice, including the decoration of the building, play a formative role in the well-being of the patients: ‘I have seen again and again how receptive patients are to the things they look at when they are not able to bear with talking any longer.’ Ibid., p. 6.

24 Ibid., p. 4.

25 Muers, Keeping God's Silence, p. 15.

26 Karl Rahner, Foundations of Christian Faith: An Introduction to the Idea of Christianity, trans. William V. Dych (New York: Crossroad, 1978), p. 79.

27 Muers, Keeping God's Silence, p. 3; emphasis added.

28 Williams, Being Human, p. 91.

29 Ibid., p. 89.

30 Ibid., p. 90.

31 Ibid., p. 96.

32 Ibid., p. 95.

33 Rowan Williams, The Edge of Words: God and the Habits of Language (London: Bloomsbury, 2014), p. 184.

34 Muers, Keeping God's Silence, p. 146.

35 Paula Sapeta and Ângela Simões, ‘Silences in Palliative Care: The Primacy of Human Presence’, Hospice and Palliative Medicine International Journal 2/3 (2018), p. 161.

36 Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying, p. 246.

37 Ibid., p. 100.

38 Parker J. Palmer, ‘The Gift of Presence, The Perils of Advice’, On Being, https://onbeing.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-the-perils-of-advice/; accessed Feb. 2019.

39 Tonya D. Armstrong, ‘Practicing Compassion for Dying Children’, in Swinton and Payne, Living Well and Dying Faithfully, p. 159.

40 Muers, Keeping God's Silence, p. 148.

41 Ibid., p. 149.

42 I follow Muers’ analysis here that listening is ‘an essentially embodied activity, requiring physical presence (the ear) and affected by the physical environment and the presence of others’. Ibid., p. 164.

43 It is worth noting here the necessary safeguards that must be in place when it comes to the healing practice of touch – for those who are vulnerable, particularly, such practices must be carried out by authorised individuals.

44 Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying, p. 77.

45 Thelma Fayle, ‘Feet Aren't Ugly’, Canadian Virtual Hospice, http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Support/Support/Your+Stories/Current/Feet+aren_t+ugly.aspx; accessed Jan. 2019.

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48 Janet Soskice, ‘Dying Well in Christianity’, in Coward and Stajduhar, Religious Understandings of a Good Death, p. 127; emphasis added.

49 For this reason, care for the dying person will necessarily be informed by the particulars of that person's life, attending to the ‘delights of [the dying person's] flesh, to the music he likes and to the flowers she loves, to his environment, and to her dining … and by the human touch that signals compassion’. Verhey, Allan, The Christian Art of Dying: Learning from Jesus (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans, 2011), p. 382Google Scholar.

50 Even without this hope of resurrection, the touch affirms the particularity of the person – for it this flesh, this life that is going to be lost in death.

51 Evans and Davison, Care for the Dying, p. 26.

52 Touch is also significant in the sacrament of anointing (usually accompanied by the laying on of hands), which frames the Christian life, from baptism until death, as a sharing ‘in Christ right to the end’. Davison, Andrew, Why Sacraments? (London: SPCK, 2013), p. 121Google Scholar.

53 This often takes shape in the form of massage therapies and reflexology.

54 In the words of Cicely Saunders, ‘as we believe we will live on in the memories of those who love us, so we can trust that our soul is safe to live on in the invincible love of God’. Cicely Saunders, ‘Facing Death’, in Watch with Me, pp. 26–7.

55 Aquinas, Summa Theologica 1.8 1, trans. Fathers of the English Dominican Province, http://www.documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/1225-1274,_Thomas_Aquinas,_Summa_Theologiae_%5B1%5D,_EN.pdf; accessed Feb. 2019; emphasis added.

56 Allen Verhey, ‘The Practice of Prayer and Care for the Dying’, in Swinton and Payne, Living Well and Dying Faithfully, p. 103.

57 Armstrong, ‘Practicing Compassion for Dying Children’, p. 162.

58 Karen D. Scheib, ‘“Make Love Your Aim”: Ecclesial Practices of Care at the End of Life’, in Swinton and Payne, Living Well and Dying Faithfully, p. 33.