8 - Behaviour and related problems

Summary

Behaviour problems include:

1. • physically aggressive behaviour such as bullying, constantly getting into fights and hitting other people for no good reason

2. • disobedience and temper tantrums

3. • non-physical aggression such as teasing, name-calling and humiliating other people

4. • lying to cover up behaviour for which the child is worried he may get into trouble or for some other reason

5. • stealing from home, school or in the neighbourhood; it may be carried out in isolation or with other young people

6. • fire-setting that can be very minor or extremely destructive

7. • truancy, not because of anxiety but because the child really does not like school and thinks he can do more things he enjoys outside of school.

Temper tantrums and disobedience

Information about temper tantrums and disobedience

A temper tantrum is an outburst, usually occurring when a young child is frustrated and cannot get what he wants. It involves shouting, screaming and sometimes aggressive behaviour towards the person who is not giving the child what he wants. It can last anything from a minute or two to an hour. Sometimes the tantrum progresses to a breath-holding attack. In the worst of these, a child may actually go blue from lack of air.

Most children under the age of 5 or 6 years have an occasional temper outburst and this is quite normal. Children who have frequent temper outbursts (several a day) are often very disobedient and aggressive. Disobedient children may also be unusually active with difficulties in concentration (see Section 8.2). Young disobedient children with frequent temper tantrums are often also anxious, not liking to be left with strangers and generally easily upset.

There are usually several reasons why young children are disobedient and have frequent temper tantrums.

1. •The core of the problem usually lies in inconsistent parental control of a young child who is temperamentally ‘difficult’.

2. • The mother may find it difficult to be firm and consistent because she is depressed and/ or has an impulsive personality.

3. • The parental relationship may be unhappy, so that the parents cannot agree on how to handle the problem.

4. • Parents may react to the child's problems by becoming impatient, aggressive and/or rejecting, or these attitudes may have been there from the start.