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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 June 2022
My dear Lady,
I will now proceed with my melancholy Account.
Not knowing what to do, and Mr. B. not coming nearme, and the Clock striking Twelve, I ventur’d to send this Billet to him, by Polly.
Dear Sir,
I know you chuse not to be invaded when you retire into your Closet; and yet, being very uneasy on account of your abrupt Departure, and heavy Displeasure, I take the Liberty to write these few Lines.
I own, Sir, that the sudden Flow of Tears which involuntarily burst from me, at your kind Expressions to the Countess in my Favour, when I had thought for more than a Month past, you were angry with me, and which had distress’d my weak Mind beyond Expression, might appear unaccountable to you. But had you kindly waited but one Moment, till this Fit, which was rather owing to my Joy and my Gratitude, than to Perverseness, had been over, (and I knew the Time when you would have generously soothed it!) I should have had the Happiness of a more serene and favourable Parting.
Will you permit me, Sir, (Polly shall wait your Answer) to attend you? I dare not come without your Permission; for should you be as angry as you were, I know not how I should bear it. But if you say I may come down, I hope to satisfy you, that I intended not any Offence. Do, dear Sir, permit me to attend you. I can say no more, than that I am
Your ever dutiful
P. B.
Polly return’d with the following.—So, thought I, a Letter! I could have spared that, I am sure. I expected no Favour from it. So, tremblingly, open’d it.
My Dear,
I would not have you sit up for me. We are getting apace into the matrimonial Recriminations. You knew the Time!—So did I, my Dear!—But it seems that Time is over with both; and I have had the Mortification, for some past Weeks, I may say, to come home to a very different Pamela, than I used to leave all Company and all Pleasure for.—I hope we shall better understand one another. But you cannot see me at present with any Advantage to yourself; and I would not, that any thing farther should pass, to add to the Regrets of both.
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