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II - Desponding Thoughts of a Soul under Convictions of Sin

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 July 2011

David Brainerd
Edited by
Jonathan Edwards
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Summary

  1. I believe my case is singular, that none ever had so many strange and different thoughts and feelings as I.

  2. I have been concerned much longer than many others that I have known or read of, who have been savingly converted, and yet I am left.

  3. I have withstood the power of convictions a long time; and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God.

  4. I never shall be converted, without stronger convictions and greater terrors of conscience.

  5. I do not aim at the glory of God in anything I do, and therefore I cannot hope for mercy.

  6. I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my nature; and therefore I am discouraged.

  7. The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is, and the worse I grow continually.

  8. I fear that God never showed mercy to one so vile as I.

  9. I fear I am not elected, and therefore must perish.

  10. I fear the day of grace is past with me.

  11. I fear I have committed the unpardonable sin.

  12. I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, He would have called me home to Himself before now.

Type
Chapter
Information
The Journal of David Brainerd , pp. 268 - 269
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2010
First published in: 1802

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