Chapter 3 - Forgiveness and psychological therapy

Summary

People sometimes suffer psychological trauma because they have been wronged. A victim of wrongdoing may be angry, afraid, hurt and resentful; as a result, the victim may feel violated. Perceived wrongs may also make a victim feel violated. One issue that victims often have difficulty in coming to terms with is why they were wronged. The question has to do with making sense of – that is, finding out the reason for – what happened to them. Those who already have low self-esteem (that is, a misplaced or diminished sense of self-regard, self-confidence and self-respect and an inaccurate perception of themselves as rational and relational human beings) may find it particularly difficult to forgive (Novitz 1998: 311–13) – or may ‘forgive’ all too easily out of a lack of self-respect. With some types of wrongdoing, the victim may feel that the wrongdoer is implicitly communicating that the victim is worthless, a ‘thing’ (not a person) to be abused at will. Being wronged can be a psychologically destructive experience for a person, and can have harmful effects on the lives of others and even on communities.

Some people who have been wronged recover quickly and bear no lasting (psychological) scars. Though they may be more cautious in the future through the experience of the injury, they will have made, from a psychological point of view, a full recovery.