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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 June 2022
Against a Second Marriage, where there are Children on both Sides.
Dear Sir,
You ask my Opinion as to the Thoughts you have entertained of making your Addresses to the Widow Lockyer. Do you really ask it with an Intent to take it? Or, like the Generality of the World, only in hopes that my Judgment falling in with your own, may be a kind of Justification or Excuse for what you intend to do, and are, perhaps, already resolved upon? If so, what do you do, but lay a Snare for me, which may put an End to our Friendship? For Men least of all bear Controul or Contradiction in Points of this Nature, when their Hearts are actually determined; and then Indifference begins, and Disgust ends the best-cemented Friendships.
To say the Truth, I never was a Friend to Second Marriages, where there are Children on one Side, and a Likelihood of more; but, especially, where there are Children on both. I have nothing to say, as to the Person or Character of the Lady. You, whom it most concerns, are well satisfy’d of both, or you would not have gone so far, as to ask a Friend's Advice on this Occasion; But since you do put it to me, I will throw a few Reasons together, which have always had Weight with me on these Occasions; and I hope, you’ll not think the worse of your Friend, if he happen to differ a little from your own Judgment.
It must be confess’d, in the Case you put, That the Circumstances on both Sides, are pretty equal. That there is no great Disparity in Years. That she has Three Children, and you have Four; a round Family, however, when they come together! That she is very fond of her Children, and you, at present, of yours. That you are not an ill-temper’d Man, and she is a good-temper’d Woman; and was a loving Wife to her late Spouse, as you were an affectionate Husband to yours. Well, so far is very well, and, you’ll think perhaps, very promising of a happy Union; and possibly you may think right; at least you have much better Grounds for it, than many that do marry upon much worse and more unequal Prospects.
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