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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 05 October 2010
Friday, November 26.—Had still a sense of my great unworthiness, and endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone. O, what a nothing, what dust and ashes am I! Enjoyed some peace and comfort in spreading my complaints before the God of all grace.
Saturday, November 27.—Committed my soul to God with some degree of comfort; left New York about nine in the morning; came away with a distressing sense still of my unspeakable depravity. Surely I may well love all my brethren; for none of them all is so vile as I; whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me none is conscious of so much guilt before God. O my leanness, my barrenness, my carnality, and past bitterness, and want of a Gospel-temper! These things oppress my soul. Rode from New York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way continued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace; and spent the evening much dejected in spirit.
Wednesday, December 1.—My soul breathed after God, in spiritual and longing desires of conformity to Him; was brought to rest itself and all on His rich grace, and felt strength and encouragement to do or suffer anything that divine providence should allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Stratfield to Newton.
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