Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Figures and tables
- Acknowledgements
- One Introduction
- Two What is known about children’s experience of parental separation and divorce?
- Three The research study
- Four Constructing a new framework for understanding children’s accommodation of parental separation
- Five Setting the context for the framework: emotions
- Six Reactions
- Seven Support
- Eight Communication
- Nine Conflict
- Ten Future directions
- References
- Appendices
- Index
Seven - Support
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 27 April 2022
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Figures and tables
- Acknowledgements
- One Introduction
- Two What is known about children’s experience of parental separation and divorce?
- Three The research study
- Four Constructing a new framework for understanding children’s accommodation of parental separation
- Five Setting the context for the framework: emotions
- Six Reactions
- Seven Support
- Eight Communication
- Nine Conflict
- Ten Future directions
- References
- Appendices
- Index
Summary
Case study:
Bethany's story
Bethany (Respondent 23) is 20 years old, she was aged 5–8 years when her parents separated. She was told about the separation by both parents as soon as they decided to separate and describes how:
‘Like one of the girls [in the PSV], I used to want to turn the clock back so that we could all be happy again.’
Initially she was
‘upset and scared because I was only young, so did not fully understand why they were separating…I saw it in a simple way and pleaded with my mum not to leave Dad.’
Following their separation, she and her ‘older sister moved with my mum to a different area of Liverpool’. This involved a lot of changes including
‘how often I saw my dad and me and my sister had to adjust to a new school and home’.
She believes that her views and those of her sister were taken into account about post-separation changes:
‘but not as much as if my parents separated now, because of our ages’.
Bethany identified her older sister as her sole source of support during these changes:
‘Me and my sister stuck together – that made me feel better but as she was the oldest I think she felt responsible for me.’
She felt able to talk to her mother (resident parent) and sister about the separation. When asked whether she would have liked the opportunity to talk to someone outside the family about the separation, she said ‘at the time I don’t think so’, hinting that she may have done at a later date.
Looking back, she says
‘I can see now that we were all better for the split in the long run, my mum, dad, sister and me. In fact it might have been better even earlier.’
Bethany had a high level of accommodation.
This chapter examines the support available to children at the time of their parents’ separation, the opportunities they had to talk to people about the separation and the extent to which these factors influenced their level of accommodation. It goes on to examine views on whether they would have liked the opportunity to talk about their parents’ separation with someone outside the family.
- Type
- Chapter
- Information
- Childhood Experiences of Separation and DivorceReflections from Young Adults, pp. 123 - 140Publisher: Bristol University PressPrint publication year: 2019