Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Figures and tables
- Acknowledgements
- One Introduction
- Two What is known about children’s experience of parental separation and divorce?
- Three The research study
- Four Constructing a new framework for understanding children’s accommodation of parental separation
- Five Setting the context for the framework: emotions
- Six Reactions
- Seven Support
- Eight Communication
- Nine Conflict
- Ten Future directions
- References
- Appendices
- Index
Six - Reactions
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 27 April 2022
- Frontmatter
- Dedication
- Contents
- Figures and tables
- Acknowledgements
- One Introduction
- Two What is known about children’s experience of parental separation and divorce?
- Three The research study
- Four Constructing a new framework for understanding children’s accommodation of parental separation
- Five Setting the context for the framework: emotions
- Six Reactions
- Seven Support
- Eight Communication
- Nine Conflict
- Ten Future directions
- References
- Appendices
- Index
Summary
Case study:
Gemma's story
Gemma (Respondent 22) aged 25 years old, was 0–4 years old when her parents separated. After viewing the PSV and reflecting on her experience, she explained:
‘Looking at the clip, I can see that some things are similar, but the situation was different. When I look back I realise that there were lots of problems at home and I didn't really get on with Mum or Dad properly. I thought Dad didn't want us when he left and I wanted him to notice us. I thought Mum should have done more to keep it together. My brother reacted by always [being] in trouble at school and with the police. If I hadn't gone to live with grandparents when I started secondary school I don't know what would have happened. I still get a bit jealous of other people when they get on with their families, even though my family is better now than it was. I still have little contact with Mum and Dad. I have tried to make sure I don't make the same mistakes my mum and dad did and I give my children lots of attention.’
Following her parents’ separation she lived with her brother and mother who ‘moved her partner in with us and then soon after we moved to his house’. She remembered ‘not getting on with my mum at the time. I thought it was her fault’, and taking her ‘frustration out on her as she was the parent we lived with’.
The separation and post-separation changes were ‘never discussed and I was not asked what I thought. I think they thought I was too young’. Her grandmother was a source of support and she moved to live with her grandparents when she was 11. She spoke to a counsellor about her family situation, but did not comment on when, who arranged it or her thoughts on the experience.
She described other family members’ responses, in particular how her brother:
‘became aggressive and violent, he was suspended from school and eventually expelled. He also got in with a gang and got into trouble with the police. He has served two prison sentences.’
- Type
- Chapter
- Information
- Childhood Experiences of Separation and DivorceReflections from Young Adults, pp. 103 - 122Publisher: Bristol University PressPrint publication year: 2019