6 - ‘Stopping for lunch’

Summary

Stuff Happens, David Hare’s 2004 play about the Iraq war, begins with a parade of the Republicans. Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice all take the stage in turn.

Colin Powell tells us what he learned about the nature of war while fighting in Vietnam: ‘After Vietnam many in my generation vowed that when our turn came to call the shots, we would not quietly acquiesce in half-hearted warfare for half-baked reasons . . . War should be the politics of last resort.’

Donald Rumsfeld comes on next as ‘one-time champion wrestler, University of Chicago’ and ex-assistant to Richard Nixon. Other actors discuss his reputation:

RUMSFELD’S FIRST FRIEND: When you play squash with him, you are lucky not to have your head taken off with his racquet.

RUMSFELD’S SECOND FRIEND: In locker-room terms, Don is a towelsnapper.

Then Vice-President Dick Cheney steps forward: ‘I had other priorities in the sixties than military service.‘ An actor reads from a memo:

Memo from Dick Cheney, October 12th 1974. We will be unable in the short term to fix the drainage problem in the sink in the first-floor bathroom. The White House plumbing is very old and we have had the General Services Administration working for some time to figure out how to improve the problem.